Foodie Gettin' Fit

I've Moved!

2011-02-02T09:48:00.000-08:00

I'm alive!! I'm just blogging elsewhere. Come on over to: foodiegettinfit.wordpress.com !

Trail Run Tragedy

2010-12-05T10:10:00.000-08:00

These were the leaves I'd come to see and enjoy. I even stopped along the way to take a quick shot with my phone, and I DO NOT stop during a run.

Now I know that taking pictures of leaves during a run will never be a problem for me again, because I'll not be running that close to leaves along a trail. EVER AGAIN.

Why? Because my IT Band and some obscure muscles in my hip can't handle the steep slopes, soft-give-way-right-under-your-foot surface, and limb jumping that must be done on the trails in my neighborhood. These trails were meant for walking, my friends, and nothing else. Not for me, anyway.

This was the first run, in months, that I couldn't finish. And it was the first that I stopped running because of pain. Not fatigue. Pain. I couldn't walk properly for about a week after that run, but I got a cute shot of some leaves, right?

Then, about a week later, I attempted a run on my treadmill, figuring I was on a really stable surface, and I could stop whenever my hip called for it. Call, it did, and only a mile into that run, I called it off.

Then? I got sick. Snot all over the place, head exploding with pain, coughing up phlegm balls the size of small kittens, sick. Why? Because I dosed myself with thousands of pity-woe-is-me-I-may-never-run-in-another-race SUGAR calories. Smart, eh? So I've gotten myself so sick, that I haven't been to the gym in an entire week. That hasn't happened since, well, since I first injured my hip.

As irony would have it, staying out of the gym and not running seems to have given my hip the break it may have needed, so, I plan to go for a nice, long trail run tomorrow!??!! No, I'm not that stupid. But I do plan to get right back into the gym tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to it.

You know those freaks who are cranky if they don't get to go running each 24 hour period? The people who insist they run for fun? Well, I'm not that far gone yet, but I get them. Because I am truly, anxiously, so excited and thrilled, to go to my Interval class tomorrow. To be part of that group that sweats like crazy for an hour and pushes weights around until muscles beg for mercy. To rush out the door as though I'm headed off to see a great movie with a good friend and drive a little on the manic side, just to get my good spot under the fan, away from those absurd air fresheners that spray poison every five minutes in the face of unsuspecting oxygen-gaspers.

Do I think that my junk-food spree was rewarded with a repaired hip because of a forced recuperationfromtheplague period? No.

But I do think that God will make, and has made some beautiful things out of my messes, in spite of myself.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
-Romans 8:28

I Weigh Less Than My Husband Now

2010-11-23T18:43:00.000-08:00

And it feels Grea-aaaat! (I see Tony the Tiger in my mind's eye right about here).

He's a pretty lean guy (my husband, not Tony), so it's harder for me to pull this off than a lot of women, so I'm giving myself some crazy credit right about now.

I've switched around my food a little bit and have been reading about becoming "metabolically efficient" when I run, and I think it is all paying off. So off we go for Thanksgiving, and I hope to come back in a few days the same weight or even a bit lighter. I'll not be going crazy at the Thanksgiving table. My version of "crazy" will be having some mashed potatoes when I ordinarily would not. That and a slice of pumpkin pie shall grace my lips. But I'm actually really looking forward to the turkey. We may talk my folks into trying a deep fried turkey this year, and if all goes well, and the house is still standing, I may have a nice pile of turkey on my plate :)

Since I doubt I'll be blogging before we get back, I have to take the time now to share a list of things for which I am very grateful:

Knowing and being known by God; being given the free gift of salvation, which I truly do not deserve
Parents who have always taken care of me and my needs; with great depths of love on top of it
A husband who puts up with my moods and who is faithful, hardworking, funny, and very, very, kind. He is truly the love of my life and I love our life together
Two precious girls who make me laugh and smile. They are healthy, and that alone is a cause for tremendous thanksgiving. They have made me a better person, and allowed me to get an idea of how much God must love me.
A safe home and good food to eat, warmth when it's cold, and cooling when it's hot. Flowers along my front sidewalk and Japanese Maples that always make me smile. Four very hairy, shedding cats who add tons of spice to our lives.
Friends. A sweet long-time best friend who knows about all of my 'warts' and still loves me. And a group of Bible study friends who make me laugh until I pee in my pants, and then pray for me when I'm broken.

When I read through that list, I am so full of gratitude it almost makes me cry. I know there will be dark times in my life again when it's hard to praise my Creator; but while it's easy in the midst of this abundance, I can't help but want to scream this list from the top of the glorious mountains we're going to visit this week.

As I don't want to embarrass my parents in front of their neighbors, my little blog will have to do ;)

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!!

Motivated Mama

2010-11-20T19:32:00.000-08:00

Whew! It was not a good month. And it was a wonderful month. How's that, you might wonder?

Well those few weeks of waffling around with my eating were a BIG problem. One I hadn't dealt with in many months. Because of that, my net loss for the month was a whopping .4 lbs.

That said, I learned a lot and will be working diligently in the future to protect what I have gained (or lost?!) over this last year :)

The 'wonderful' of my month comes mostly in the last two weeks. This past one, I lost 4 whole pounds. That's unheard of for me!! I was getting to a point where a half pound loss was a reason to rejoice (it is, actually) but 4 pounds?!!! Crazy-amazing, Biggest Loser-esque type loss in my humble opinion.

So I've hit a brand new low, and I am really excited about it. I have plans to keep up with Keelie and her Holiday motivation plan, and my first thing was to set a goal for January 1st. It was to hit 145 by then, but I think I need to change that a bit. Hallelujah! So, my new goal is to reach the 130's. 139.8 would be just fine by me.

I'll have to plow through Thanksgiving, a Disney trip with LOTS of eating out, and some Christmas parties. Then Christmas Day and New Year's Eve. Can I do it? Yup, I think I can. But it's gonna take some work.

Anyone else up for an end of the year challenge?

First Road Race!!

2010-11-08T10:05:00.000-08:00

Posting about this race has been put off for far too long...lots of unhealthy food has gotten in my way, but I'm pushing through, and moving right along.

Just to be clear, the above pics are not of the actual hills I ran during the 6K, but I did tackle these hills a few days later when we went to the NC mountains to see the leaves. That said, the hills I did run during the race felt like the pictured hills.

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So the days leading up to the race were less than stellar. I ate like a maniac with a desire to destroy all healthy cells. As I mentioned in another post, my BFF was in town. She also happens to be my favorite binge-buddy, and we did horrible things with food that week; both of us are dismayed and are working on not repeating that again.

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Anyhoo, I really didn't want to run the race. I was worried about how I'd been eating and how I'd feel while I was running on junk food. I also had a little performance anxiety since my husband decided to tell people at work that I was running a race. In addition to that, this annual race starts and ends right in my own neighborhood, so the chances of random friends/neighbors showing up to watch (and judge!!) were freaking me out just a little.

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My husband and BFF really left me no choice and kicked me out the door in time to run. Accompanied by my two 'prodders' and our combined four kids, I walked from our house to the starting point and pinned on my very first race numbers. Then I started to lose it a little when I saw our Pastor (also a neighbor) walk over with numbers of his own pinned on his shirt.

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I had no idea he was planning to run (or be there!). He's been on a big health and running kick and has moved well beyond the 5 or 6K race distances. In fact, the next weekend, he told me, he would be running a Half.

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I pleasantly inquired about his wife (a sweet lady and friend) who also was training for a Half, and he let me know that she'd be there shortly. Yay. Now I not only had spectators I wasn't expecting, but fellow runners who'd know exactly how pathetic I was at this running thing. I gave Husband and BFF ugly looks. Husband was clueless. I think BFF could read my mind.

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What could I do then but run? So I went to the starting line behind Pastor and Wife, and tried to get my iPhone set up with music and the Nike Plus App I like to use. The race started, and I spent the first 1/4 of a mile fighting with the Nike program while simultaneously falling into those drainage/gutter things along the edge of the road. One thing I hadn't thought about during my practice runs was what it might be like to run as part of a herd.

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I finally had to give up on my running App and just switched over to a favorite Playlist; I put the phone back in my Spibelt, strapped it around my waist and looked up for the first time since we started the race. Wife was just ahead, so I decided to try to keep up with her.

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Then I started to question my sanity. What is the purpose of this racing stuff? What the heck would inspire me, or anyone else for that matter, to purposely do something so uncomfortable? What is the meaning of life??? Okay, the last question didn't occur to me at that moment, but I was almost there.

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Then I just ran. I followed Wife. I lost Wife. I caught back up with Wife. Repeat.

My heart rate monitor stayed pegged at about 178 throughout the entire race, and I knew I wasn't going to push any harder than that, so I just did what I could do, and was excited to still be able to see Wife just a few strides ahead most of the way.

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I really wish I'd had someone in my head to transcribe my thoughts during the race, because they'd probably give me a good chuckle right about now. I remember being surprised to pass by some big muscular guys, and to find some really 'fit' looking runners walking up the big hills. I lost Pastor early on, along with a girl I regularly see in the classes I take at the gym.

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The most beautiful sight in the world was Husband and BFF with our kids just a few yards from the finish line. Pastor (who probably ran home for a shower and meal and then back) was there too, cheering Wife and me on to the finish line. That was, oddly enough, one of the best parts. I kept up with Wife! She mentioned her desire to run her Half at a pace just under 10-minute miles, so I thought I might be able to stick with her. Actually doing it was so nice.

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We stuck around and cheered many of the other runners on to the finish line. A good twenty minutes later, people were still coming in, and my oldest daughter kept asking if they were part of the same race I was in :)

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Here's the really fun part: the next morning I arrived at church, and Wife handed me a bronze metal!! She and Pastor had stuck around until the end and heard them call my name for third place in my division. How crazy funny and awesome is that, all at the same time? My time for the race was 36:35, so I did run just under 10-minute miles. And I didn't die. And I didn't quit. And I will run another race, because, while I still think running races is a nutty idea, I've got my own kind of 'crazy' going on, so I should fit right in.

Little Keebler Devils

2010-10-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

This is just a quick post to protest the Keebler Elves newest sin: they have stolen from the Girls Scouts.

My childhood BFF was here all last week (one reason for my lack of posting) and we slid into old habits together: eating food that's not really food while simultaneously throwing our blood sugar all over the charts. I gained 5 pounds in one week. Seriously? It took me a month to lose that.

Anyway, not one to cast the blame on myself ;) I am planting it firmly in front of the feet of the Keebler people. Now, instead of only having to avoid my favorite cookies in the world (those coconut/caramel things, along with Thin Mints) ONCE a year, now I have to do it every time I visit my local grocery store. Which I do at least twice a week.

They've gotten their hands on the Girl Scouts' recipes, and have made exact replicas of one of my favorite treats/worst nightmares.

I guess shopping 'the perimeter' is what will keep me safe, and those darn cookies out of my line of sight.

Onto healthier endeavors, anyone interested in how my first race went??!! Well I'm going to include details in my next post, but I wanted to take a couple of pics first, so I can share photos as well as words....

Will Run For Gadgets

2010-10-14T15:16:00.001-07:00

Or, more specifically, for running gadgets!

I am all set for the race (running gear-wise). I was putting my iPod in an armband to run, but when I recently switched to an iPhone (which is bigger), I was in a real pickle. I have the phone in a protective case that's a real pain to remove, so I went on a hunt for a belt with a pouch, and I found that cute little Spibelt!

It doesn't bounce around on my waist, whether I have it on my stomach or turned around to my back, and it could hold money and a key if I really needed it.

Also pictured is my heart-rate monitor. I had a Polar once upon a time, and also another brand which recently quick working. I really wanted a new one, but didn't want to spend much, so $35 was my total for this Timex. It seems to work like a charm, except when I'm on my treadmill ;) I guess there's too much interference... But where I really need it is outside anyway, so I can't complain. It's doing a great job of helping me stay at a decent pace; no slacking, no over-doing it.

My last, but not pictured, and favorite gadget of all? My iPhone. More specifically, the NikePlus app that I have on it. I just downloaded it before my last run, and was I in for a treat, or what?!!

Since I happen to live a street away from where the 6K I'll be doing next week is located, I've been running the exact route for practice. I'd mapped out the mile markers in my car so I could check on my pace.

Well, this NikePlus thing does it all for me. It tells me (through the music that I have playing) when I've hit each mile, and what my pace is. When I'm all done, I can look at a map of where I ran, what the elevation was, and what my pace was at different points. My girls got a big kick out of looking at all of this on the computer when I got home.

I was so inspired, I ran an extra mile just for fun. They were calories well earned, because my best girl-buddies and I went out to eat at an Italian place last night, and I ate my fair share.

I didn't plan on running much after this 6K, but I've heard of this little race down at Disney World (the Princess Half-Marathon) and I'm interested. With the Nike app, my training, if I decide to go for it, sure would be more fun to do.

Question for those of you with feet :)

Are there shoes that you prefer for running? Anything I should know about running shoes, specifically? I have a pair of New Balance that I'll use for the next month or so, but I probably should start looking around for a new pair.

No Turning Back Now

2010-10-02T17:51:00.001-07:00

I have officially registered for the 6K a few weekends from now. I'm excited, scared, and hopeful all at one time. Oh, and a little bummed! My BFF will not be running with me after all because of temporary joint issues, so I'll have to go it alone. Which is sorta where the scary part comes in.

I was a competitive swimmer when I was young and into high school. I ended up hating the sport because my finishing place and times were so darn important. I was so stressed out about it, and ended up quitting because it was driving me crazy.

When I started playing soccer, I realized what I'd been missing in a true team sport all those years! Not nearly as much pressure on self, and a real sense of team-work. I loved it. Then I rowed in college, and that was really in a league of its own, team-mentality-wise.

So here I am again, doing something where individual place and time is a focus (for some) and it's running, which is not at all a natural talent area for me. What is wrong with this picture?

I guess I just want to be able to check a race off my list of to-do's. Or to celebrate what has been many months of hard work and discipline. A grand wave goodbye to years of unhealthy habits.

Whatever it is, I'm doing it, and because I'm stubborn, there really is no turning back now.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can....

2010-09-30T17:11:00.000-07:00

And I did. I finished my run in under 40 minutes, and if no one had been around to see, I might just have danced there in the middle of the road for joy! Well that's one reason, but truthfully, I was in no condition to be dancing after that last hill.

I still hate the hills, especially the big one at the end, but it feels so good to see improvement, and I'm definitely going to run that 6K next month. Best part? My BFF is planning a visit, and may run it with me!!!

One thing running is doing for me that's not so great, is making a couple of my classes at the gym seem too easy. Today's was one of those, so I'm thinking I may add an extra set of risers under my step next week.

Another big bonus of running, along with all of the hard work I've been doing at the gym? Jillian is not so scary anymore ;) I did the first level of The Shred many months ago, and didn't put that disc back in my player again, until a couple of days ago. I did level one (both of my girls did it with me) and it was a piece of cake. I was still sweaty and my heart rate got up there for a bit, but it was totally do-able, and if I actually enjoyed working out with Jillian, I probably would have done the other two levels that day....

My weight isn't budging, which is terribly annoying, but I'm feeling good, and I know it'll drop eventually.

Bok Choy, Baby

2010-09-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

If you're a blogger, and I read your blog, you probably influence me in some small way. Whether it's dusting off The Shred, running better and more, or cooking up some interesting foods, this lady takes to heart a lot of what you all have to say.

So, it should come as no surprise, that after reading about Bok Choy yesterday, I looked around for it at the grocery store tonight, and came right home to make/cook it. I live in the South, but I don't "fix" meals ;)

I ran right over the computer to check the recipe, and noticed my error: I bought Big Bok Choy, not Baby Bok Choy. I'm very new to the Bok Choy world, and yes, I had to read all of the labels on the veggies until I found what I was looking for. There didn't seem to be a Baby variety, but I may have missed it somewhere near the micro-greens.

Have no fear! I google recipes all of the time, so I looked up one for cooking Bok Choy and found one that seems to apply to the Big version. They cut theirs into manageable pieces, which, if you notice the bouquet sprouting out of the biggest bowl I own, made a whole lot of sense.

I put a couple of pats of butter in my pan, and stuffed all that I'd cut (about half of the bunch in the bowl) over it. Then I put a few dashes of soy sauce on top. It wilted and shrunk a bit, and when I tried it, I was quite satisfied, but I didn't really want to eat it all alone, so I topped my chicken noodle soup with it.

I was making the soup at the same time the bok choy was cooking because I wanted to use the chicken stock I made with the bones/skin left-over from our pastured chicken. When you spend $16 for a wee-little chicken, you tend to want to make use of all of the parts. I wonder what kind of art project could make use of some bones. Or is that too morbid...

To the stock, I added a can of beans, a bag of frozen peas, a cup or so of pearl onions, a bag of frozen corn, and a couple of cups of hubby's favorite gluten-free noodles. The bok choy on top was a nice addition to my bowl, but I learned a few things from my experience tonight:

Bok Choy is a choking hazard. It was mentioned in the post I mentioned above, but I didn't take it seriously. Future references to choking on new foods will be respected.
One person should not try to eat an entire pan of Big Bok Choy. The Baby stuff perhaps, but not the Big kind. Binges aren't only for ice cream. I may remember The Bok Choy Binge for years to come, especially if what I think may happen to my digestive system later tonight actually happens.
Putting soy sauce (not gluten free) on bok choy is a bad idea in a home where the only other person willing to try said vegetable, is gluten-free. It leads to bok choy bingeing.
Cats do not care for bok choy.
Grocery stores sell Big Bok Choy in bunches not suitable for a lone diner.
The Clean Plate Club membership seems to be a lifetime membership, and is more fun for its members when foods other than bok choy (in astronomical portions) are on the plate.

I Did It! (Almost)

2010-09-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

I'm still hoping to run my first road-race, and it's next month. You'd think I'd run more than once a week if I were really serious about this, but you'd be wrong ;) I just want to finish in under 40 minutes, and if I can do that once before race-day, then off I'll go!

I figured I'd try to pace myself this time by figuring out where each of the 4 miles ends and checking my time at each point. I ended up running 11 minute-miles pretty consistently, and then wimped out and walked the last quarter of a mile. I really wanted to finish, but the last half-mile is ALL uphill, and I just couldn't pull it off.

But I did get farther than last time, so I'm moving in the right direction, correct?

It was 99 degrees here today, and I'm so sick of this heat, but I think I may give it another try on Wednesday...perhaps it'll only hit 95?

If you run, have you noticed much of a difference in your pace or endurance as you've lost weight? I need hope here folks :)

Me and a Large Fungus

2010-09-13T20:32:00.001-07:00

I got the idea for the massive stuffed mushroom from Whole Foods, where I saw a pre-stuffed, enormous portabella begging for me to take it home and enjoy. Then I saw the price tag, and sticker shock is an understatement. So, I made my own, and it was a glorious thing! I stuffed it with chopped onions, green peppers, tomatoes, chives, and garlic. Then I topped it with shredded Blarney Castle (Kerrygold Irish) cheese. A wee bit of freshly ground black pepper covered the cheese, and in the toaster oven it went for about 40 minutes. Yummy! And quite low in calories for the size of the snack.

In other news, I'm getting low in the 150's, and really ready to charge into the 140's. I'm finally getting close to my goal, and I can hardly wait. Given the fact that I only lost about 3 pounds last month, I'm not even hoping to hit 125 by the end of the year, but I can wait...Now that I'm able to go out in public and feel healthy for a change, the waiting isn't nearly as hard as it was 40 pounds ago.

A sign of joy in my emerging form? I bought a new pair of pants last week at the Gap. They're size 12s, and they fit like a glove through the derriere and thighs, but the waist is actually a tad too big. I'm not a belt-wearer, so as soon as my rear end shrinks, I'll be headed back out to replace them ;) Pics are sure to follow...as my BFF has already asked to see these new pants o' mine.

Do you remember a "first" article of clothing that you bought when you'd lost some weight and were starting to feel happy about your current size?

My Brain is Faster Than My Legs-Running Help Needed

2010-09-10T12:52:00.001-07:00

I don't seem to have enough ability to match my ambition. I am interested in running a local race next month that benefits a free medical and dental clinic in our area, so I asked a former runner about the course and clocked it in my car.

The distance is right about 4 miles, and it's got some big honkin hills, so I thought I should give it a shot just to see how I'd do. Today. At noon. In 90+ degree heat.

Did I mention that my stomach was growling like crazy when I left for the run, and the last thing I'd eaten was a cake-pop (this concoction on a stick) and a truffle. Both were given to me as a door prize this morning at a big sale. Healthy, I know.

I made it about 3 miles and then couldn't do anymore. I walked, much to my chagrin, the last mile, but still finished the course in about 40 minutes. What this tells me, is that I'm running too fast for my current condition. I don't even run 10 minute miles on my treadmill, so what the heck was I doing out there? I have no way of knowing my pace since I don't have one of those nifty Garmin devices.

Then there's the problem of technique. I know this sounds really stupid, but I don't know if I'm running properly. There have to be some tricks of the trade that I don't know about, right?

So, if you know anything about running, HELP! How do you set a good pace for yourself, and how do you handle going up and down hills? Any other tips that I don't know, since I'm so ignorant about this I can't even come up with many intelligent questions?

Mommy, Don't Skinny Up! (And a Jeggings Pic)

2010-09-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

I don't ever want to forget what my youngest daughter said to me today, so I'll put it here. "Mommy, don't skinny up!"

She was in my lap, which there's more of now, and was nesting as she tends to do, and urged me to quit losing the soft, squishy, fat to which she's become accustomed. For the same reason I loved my mother's extra padding, my daughter likes mine.

But what's special about this is not that I'm gonna disappoint the poor girl and keep trimming down, but that she used the term, "skinny up". This is well beneath her typical vocabulary, and as I thought about it, I realized why.

We don't talk about fat or skinny people. We don't talk about pants that, "make me look huge", or thunder thighs and muffin tops around here. With two growing girls in the house, I have made every effort never to criticize my body in word or attitude within a ten mile radius of them, because I desperately want them to focus on more important things than fad diets, butt sizes, and superficial body assessments.

They are healthy. They eat well. They get plenty of exercise, and they live in a beauty-obsessed culture which I'm doing my best to shelter them from for as long as possible. So when it comes to Mommy losing weight, they just don't have the vocabulary for it, because all of these months, Mommy has been going to the gym to "get healthier" and they've not really associated this with my shrinking fat cells.

They may have not even noticed, as gradual as this process has been, if it weren't for the ladies at church who keep bringing it up in front of them. Their praise is something I really want to appreciate, but it's been sending a signal to my girls I really wasn't ready to address. But I have now talked to them about it, being the 'more info from home is better than less' type mother that I am. I've talked to them about why we don't have junk in our house. Even so, sometimes people can eat pretty well and still not get enough exercise (their understanding for why I was heavier before).

I hope it has all made sense to them. I think my youngest realizes that no matter what, Mommy will have a squishy hiney and belly she's welcome to sink her little self into.

So onto these lovely pictures....taken today to share with you all that I too, am a trendy chick. (My buddy Lynn is laughing hysterically right about now, because she knows that when it comes to most trends, my knowledge sits somewhere even with a man who's been hiding under a rock for the last century).

Truly, my Yahoo homepage mentioned the new "Jegging" trend, which is how I found out about it. Jeggings are the combo of jeans and leggings, for those of you who have more important things to read about. I saw some celebrity examples of this new fashion trend hitting our very own streets of America, and folks, they are hideous. Worse than high heels and tight jeans with leg warmers on top. Worse than blue eye shadow. Worse than what I did to my hair in the 80's.

But, when I saw them, my mind's eye flickered to that pair of size 10 jeans with stretch from Land's End that have been sitting in my closet for at least a year, waiting for a butt skinny enough to cover.

And my butt? Not skinny enough yet ;) But I can zip em! Here's where the blogosphere shouts, "Just because you can zip them, doesn't mean you should wear them!!"

I know, I know. I won't be seen dead in these jeggings until they are less 'egging' and more 'jean'. So, another 15 pounds or so might do it. In the meanwhile, I thought I'd pass along a chuckle or two, at my butt's expense.

Oh Muscles, Why So Wimpy?

2010-08-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

I've noticed something that bothers me just a tad.

Each week I do three interval classes (Step and weights combo), one or two Power (BodyPump) classes, one Yogalates, and a Step class. Every now and then something comes up, but that's my usual routine. During the Interval and Power classes, we invariably work most muscle groups, including the biceps.

So why are my biceps not getting stronger? I've increased my weight for all other exercises, but I struggle like crazy with my biceps. They are bulkier, that's for sure, but what good is the bulk (which I could do without) without the extra strength?

Are any of you muscle-people who can offer some sort of advice or info on the subject?

In other news, I think my hip may be on the mend. I may have to test it with a 6 mile run just to be sure, but if all is well, I will be one elated lady!!

Fat Day

2010-08-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

Have you had one of these? A day or time that you felt SO MUCH BIGGER than you really are?

I'm having one of those. I didn't step on the scale (I'm usually a daily weigh-er) today because I know I'm too vulnerable to that number, whatever it might be. So I'm avoiding the device for the next few days, while I carefully watch all that I eat, and get in my usual exercise classes.

I know why I feel so big: my food for the last few days has been less-than ideal. Lots of calories have been devoted to chocolate and useless carbs. I think it's time to get all of the chocolate I own out of my reach :) I usually can have it in the house without it causing problems for me, but lately, not so much.

If I could blame my poor choices over the last few days on something, (other than myself!!) it would have to be a lack of sleep. I've been up way too late reading very good books, but still have to get up in the morning for various reasons (kids, church, kids, and kids) so I've hit some days with a sleep deficit.

What's more fun than taking a nap for a nice recharge? Why, chocolate, of course. So Dove has been my pick-me-up. And she's truly let me down. So far down, instead of feeling like 158 pounds or so, I feel like 180 or more. And that just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Unless, like me, your fat is not just on your limbs, but also in your head.

Have You Lost Weight?

2010-08-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

I've gotten this question now from about everyone at church. Some ladies phrase the question more enigmatically, almost like I'm supposed to only understand the question they're asking if, in fact, I have lost weight.

But the few stranger-ladies at the gym who have asked? Well they just get right to the point. No minced words in group fitness at Gold's gym.

I guess they noticed because I switched my schedule around and wasn't going to a particular Zumba class on a regular basis. When I came back for a visit with some friends, these ladies popped out of the wood-work (it's a HUGE group) before class, and just fired away: "Have you lost weight? How much? How'd you do it? Are you buying new pants anytime soon? Taking donations?"

Okay, so the last two questions weren't really posed, but I can read minds :)

I was flustered, and I passed up a golden opportunity. In my surprise (yes, here in the South random people are known to make friendly conversation, even in regards to somewhat personal information. But I'm still stunned that people notice any changes in my form) I just rattled off the basic information, and when it came to the "how" question, I brushed it off with an "eating less, moving more" response.

So I drove home feeling like I'd failed. Because one of the ladies was well into the obese category, and really seemed to be looking for some advice. And I wish I'd had several hours to sit down with her and go through it all: I blog and read inspirational blogs. I don't eat out much anymore. I don't eat 'junk' but once in a blue moon. I don't keep junk in the house at all. I like the security that counting calories gives me. I track all food and exercise and stay within a daily calorie budget. I try never to say, "I blew it". I try to eat every 3 to 4 hours....

The list goes on and on, and all of this is the result of learning some hard lessons over the 20-odd years I've struggled with food and my weight. But Zumba was starting, and I was flustered. And 'what works' for each individual (in my opinion) is as different as we are unique in our person hood.

How do I fit all of that into a pre-Zumba nutshell?

Now on to why I have that Happy 101 button up at the top of this post...

A lovely fellow-blogger, Blessed Mama, over at Blessed Vegan Life, passed along this award to moi! I will in turn, list 10 things that make me happy, and then 10 blogs that do the same:

Hanging with the ladies who are in my discipleship group from church
Cuddling with my girls and husband
Driving home after a good, hard, workout
Iced green tea
Seeing a new low on my scale :)
The change of seasons, especially Fall and Spring
Sinking into my comfy bed after a busy day
Remembering what it was like to feel my girls kicking and rolling around when I was pregnant with them
Reaching a goal I've set for myself
Remembering the hope in all of God's promises to me

And here are just a short list of the many blogs that make me happy:

Diane at Fit to the Finish
Keelie at Real Fat
Lynn at The Banded Blubbery Blogger
Karen at Real Food Rules
Kim at To Dream the KIMpossible Dream
Lindsay at PancakesNPajamas
Chris at A Deliberate Life
MrsFatass at Did I Just Eat That Out Loud
Heidi at One Step at at Time
Syl at Live, Smile, Run

Take a look at their blogs and enjoy, along with several others in my blog-roll. I truly get so much out of keeping up with all of the bloggers on my roll!!

New Blog Title, and Pics!

2010-08-13T15:48:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited!! I've decided on a new blog title, thanks to some gentle but firm opinions that I avoid the "fat pig" territory. Now that I know my impressionable girls glance at the computer while I'm blogging, I've realized how foolish it was to even consider name-calling (myself!) that way. SO, Foodie Gettin' Fit it is.

Ironic that I'm splaying pics of chips all over today's post, but they're SO GOOD (tasting), and not horrible (nutrition-wise). I don't eat chips often, but I made my Trader Joe's/Whole Foods run today, and everyone in the house loves these chips, so I picked up a couple of bags.

Next to these lovely crunchies, is my favorite guacamole in the world. I could smell the chopped cilantro wafting through the air as I walked through the produce section of Whole Foods and wasn't sure what contained the most of it, so I bought both. One small container of the fresh guacamole, and one large container of the pico de gallo hopped a ride in my cart. The pico is quite spicy, especially when you pile a tablespoon on each chip ;) But, it hurts so good, if ya know what I mean.

I tried to find the Carrot Cake Larabar that I saw mentioned on Amelia's blog, but our Whole Foods must not carry that flavor, so I went to the bakery and picked up a container of chocolate almond biscotti. One piece has 25 calories, and it's pretty low in sugar, so that's my treat for a while. This biscotti is SO crunchy, my teeth couldn't handle eating more than a few, so it's not a food I have to worry about over-doing.

When I look at the pic below, a song pops into my head. Anyone? Anyone? If I Like Big Butts coursed through your synapses as well, then we might be on the same page. Suffice it to say, I will not be getting a butt enhancement anytime soon. (Still can't believe that's truly a surgical option, but it is, and there's a billboard on 75 stating that, "Size Matters" referring to ladies' derrieres.

There's a spoof on that song, by the way, that my husband and I came across, and we get quite a good chuckle. This version is safe for the kiddos!

On to my rear-end shot. I have to admit, making my blog debut backside first is kinda odd. I'm still face-shy...but I'm coming around. In the meanwhile, I wanted to make a record of where I am right now: these pants are a size 12, and I bought them a few years ago. I've never actually worn them, and I actually may never do so in public! I've not worn shiny pants before; perhaps 'shiny' shouldn't be donned by a butt bigger than a size 8 or so?

We can all plainly see that I'm not a size 12 yet. The saying, "Just because you can button it, doesn't mean you should wear it" fits perfectly here. Could the seams of my underwear be any more obvious?? My big plan is to put these bad boys back on in a couple of months to (hopefully) see a nice change; and less of both my rear end and the underwear that covers it ;)

Fat Pig to Fit Chick

2010-08-11T19:11:00.001-07:00

Is that too harsh?

I'm not satisfied with the title of my blog anymore, and I need a change. I don't have 100 pounds to lose anymore!! I am more than half-way there, and I want a makeover for my blog.

As I was trying to fall asleep the other night, Fat Pig to Fit Chick was all I could come up with. I thought I'd even use a couple of farm animal graphics (trying to be creative here...), but I really don't want to offend others who are struggling with their weight.

"Fat Pig" isn't exactly a term of endearment, and I wouldn't want to be called one. In fact, I shouldn't even refer to myself that way, because it's just not very nice...but it kinda fits where I was last year. (And pigs have their cute days too, right?).

So, I need some thoughts. Am I gonna send other bloggers out there into a fit of tears by referring to my 220 pound former self as a "fat pig"?

Edit: Okay, how about Back Fat to Fit Chick? I remember the moment that I was really and truly disgusted with how big I'd gotten, and that was in the shower one day when I could feel my back fat touch itself without my even bending to the side much. Ick. Perhaps that title would be a little less harsh than Fat Pig.

Granola, Past and Present

2010-08-07T21:24:00.001-07:00

I haven't made it in a long time, but I like to read about the chow over at Pancakes and Pajamas, and Linday posted a recipe of some granola she'd made. What I noticed first, was that this was not my mother's granola!

Mind you, I LOVED the granola my mom made while I was growing up. Her recipe was loaded with oats, wheat germ, sesame seeds, honey, oil, nuts, and dried fruit. My favorite part was getting a big clump of oats and honey. Yummy!

But I have to say, Lindsay has solved one of the problems I had with that recipe: I don't want to load my family down with sugars (from that honey), nor did I want to pour oil in just to get those clumps. And clumps make the granola, if you know what I mean.

So, (if you haven't already looked at that recipe!) I switched to the use of nut butter!! What a genius idea. Lindsay, if you're reading, THANK YOU!!! I can't add wheat germ unless I want to poison my gluten-free husband, so I use ground flax seed instead. In place of the maple syrup (which I bet tastes SO good), I'm using some chicory root extract for natural, no-sugar sweetness. I throw in chopped walnuts, cinnamon, and raisins. And, ta-da! I have a granola that my girls and husband love, and it's loaded with crazy-healthy stuff.

I tossed some on top of unsweetened Greek yogurt and had a nice little snack the other day. I imagine some berries would make it perfect. If this batch of granola lasts long enough, I may have to run and pick up some blueberries to add to my next bowl of Greek Granola Goodness.

Nothing's Broken But my Pride

2010-08-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

I'd be a wealthier woman if there'd been a video camera at our gym today...

I went for an Interval class with an instructor who finds great pleasure in driving a group full of sweaty people hard for an hour. Don't even think of picking up a water bottle for a quick swig; she doesn't stop, and she doesn't wait. And we pay her for the pleasure.

Back to my episode. Ironically enough, I crossed paths with a blog today that mentioned embarrassing gym moments. Little did I know, I could have planted my little mishap smack-dab in the middle of her post.

Our interval class involves the use of a Step for the cardio portions, combined with sections using hand weights, resistance bands (an evil device), and a weighted body bar. Sometimes the use of these tools is combined with balance exercises on the step, or simple tapping up and down on the step while doing upper body strength training.

Toward the end of the class (and after a particularly grueling round of lunges and squats) we were doing sets of soccer-drill-like-thingies that involve hopping from side to side over the narrow section of the step. Quickly.

I have done this particular move in the past, with this same instructor, during this same class before with no trouble. Perhaps the lone protein bar I'd eaten all day (4:15 pm class) wasn't cutting it for fuel. Or maybe I just got lazy. Or the tread on my shoes grew an inch while I was mid-air.

Whatever the case, I caught my right foot on the step as I was leaping over the step to the right side. My right food trapped my left foot, leaving me essentially foot-less, and 161 pounds of momentum kept the rest of my body moving at a nice clip. To the right, and toward to floor, where I landed on my right hip (the sore one, of course) just to the left of a nice lady who asked if I was alright. I'm so very thankful that I wasn't next to Big Sweaty Man today; because chivalry is not quite dead, and with my luck, he would have offered a drippy hand to help me up.

Did I mention that I howled? I screamed like the girl that I am on the way down. Not than anyone but the nice lady next to me could have heard me over the loud music. For once, I'm glad that our instructor plays the music at a decibel level that will probably bring on deafness in my 40's.

On the bright side, I got a very nice workout in, and my food was glorious today. And even better, my hip seems to be no worse for the wear.

Warts and All

2010-07-31T18:37:00.000-07:00

Will you love me still if I have fallen from grace?

Boy, have I fallen! After weeks and weeks of nearly pristine eating, I have really dug myself into a whole, and it started on this most recent trip out of town. My mother put a platter of chips and dip in front of us when I was hungry, and it's all been downhill since then. Right on down to the filled donuts. (My arteries are begging for mercy).

Remember my elation when I came back from my mother-in law's house and had lost a pound? Well, I was equally emotional when I came back from my mother's up a pound. These were less desirable emotions than before.

So I'm hoping to crawl out of this hole, and I know God is more than able to help. Prayers are always appreciated.

While I bare my soul, I might as well lay it all out there, right?

I was literally talking about a wart in my post title. I have a warty beauty right on my foot, and I've been fighting it for years now. No dermatologist has been able to conquer the little beast. I heard about laser wart removal, and drove an hour to a doctor who uses lasers for this purpose.

She warned me that it would hurt. Well, yes indeedy it did. She warned me it would turn black. It's grey now, and darkening by the hour. I would post a photo of it, but many of you like food as much as I do, and (as much as some of you might want help destroying your appetites) I don't want to cause involuntary regurgitation.

But I plan to update the progress of the wart removal, as well as my quest to leave this pitiful weekend of food blunders in the past...

Bye-Bye Boobies

2010-07-25T18:40:00.000-07:00

I feel juvenile using that term. If you're a guy, feel free to skip this post as I ramble about my mammary glands.

They're shrinking. I knew they would, but having to shop for a smaller bra because the one I was wearing was beginning to laugh and snicker, "Yeah right, honey" each day was not nearly as fun as shopping for smaller pants.

I honestly don't care about bust size. If I were alone on a deserted island, being flat chested would be preferable, because boobs make running, jumping, and shimmying down trees less feasible.

But since I don't live on a deserted island (and hardly ever shimmy down a tree, for that matter), I am inclined to appreciate what God gave me, because my husband appreciates what God gave me. It's not much, but it'll do, and now it's less than before.

Fortunately, I'm shrinking in proportion to the rest of my body, however. I began to realize that if I kept the boobs I had while heavy, I'd begin to look fake; top-heavy; like the ladies at the gym who have been altered. And I'm all about being natural, so I should be happy about this, right?

Something's Fishy...

2010-07-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

at Publix!

They've been carrying the most amazing Sockeye Salmon, and I've eaten it four times this week. I just can't seem to get enough of the stuff. Prince Charming doesn't like seafood, but my girls have been enjoying it with me, and it's been so simple to prepare. The time I ate it with the fresh pineapple, I put some of the pineapple juice in the dish while it baked, but otherwise, I pop it in at 300 degrees for about 15 minutes with a little pepper and it's perfect.

I usually prefer fish that has a mild flavor, and sometimes salmon is too much for me, but for some reason, this fish has had the most amazing, subtle flavor. And, it's on sale :)

Big One loves hummus, and I hadn't made it in a while (Sabra made me lazy!), so I decided to whip up a batch. I had some nice organic lemon juice around for the salmon, so into the blender I threw:

About a can and 1/2 chickpeas (without the liquid)
a few good squirts of lemon juice
several shakes of salt
10 twists of pepper
a good drizzle of olive oil
small pour of Cumin
and a slosh of the chickpea liquid

The blender handled it all fairly well, and Big One approved. I cook by feel and taste, so I didn't even try to guess accurate measurements for everything :)

I like my hummus on toasted-until-crispy whole wheat pita bread, but the girls had it on organic corn chips today. I did too, since we're all out of pita. And pity me, salmon too.

Icky, Sticky, Potty Seat Covers

2010-07-17T18:11:00.001-07:00

They're just one of the things you'll encounter at Six Flags!

We took our girls for a fun day at the park. It was a mere 95 degrees in the shade, but daunted, we were not.

What happened right before my favorite hat flew off my head? My husband told me I shouldn't worry about my hat flying off my head, so no need to take it off. There it lay, in the grass below the tracks of the roller coaster, looking helpless while I gave my husband evil looks for doubting my wisdom in gauging the risk of high-hat-removing-winds on a roller coaster...

Then, after sweating a fair amount, the girls and I stopped in the ladies room as we all needed a little relief. I took Little One with me, and Big One took the stall next to ours. I dutifully placed the paper potty cover on the seat, and plopped LO on the pot. After she peed, she and the cover stood up. Together. As in, they took vows to never part ways, no matter how much swatting, picking, scrubbing I did with a nice clean wad of toilet paper.

So I was left using my previously clean fingers to pick little pieces of potty-cover-paper-laced-with-kid-sweat off my daughter's rear end and upper thighs.

But I still had to pee, so not learning from history, I too, sat on the seat neatly covered by a paper protector. And it stuck to me too (amazing!). But for some reason, even though I was just as sweaty, if not more, the paper came off in one piece instead of 3,000. Fortunately, Little One was there in the stall to verify that I was pulling my shorts up over a paper-free behind.

I asked Big One about her experience, and she too was accosted by her potty cover. There must be a way around this...

In better and more fun news, I'm almost in the 150's!!!! This, despite taking three whole days off from working out. I haven't done that in months, but I really needed the break. I almost shrieked when I hopped on the scale today! Reward massage, here I come!

Big Sweaty Men

2010-07-13T19:23:00.001-07:00

I usually am not bothered by them. But I've learned to steer clear of them at the gym during group fitness classes. Not because they're any smellier than I am, mind you, but because they share the wealth...

Their wealth of perspiration. If this weren't a health hazard, I wouldn't mind so much. But I am a germ conscious person, and when the guy in front of me flings a few droplets ON MY LIPS while he's kicking 'corner to corner' on his step? Well that's just too much for me to take.

I thought this was an isolated incident, so I didn't think to much of it when an entirely different guy plopped down on a bike next to mine in a spin class. There's not much arm flinging that goes on in those classes, so I thought I was safe.

Well this guy got rather enthusiastic toward the end of our class and clapped his drippy hands up high. Where did his sweat fly? Right at my water bottle which was happily perched in front of my bike in the cup holder thingy. I was so darn thirsty too.

So if you're a guy at my gym, who takes a position near mine during a class, please don't be offended if I surreptitiously relocate. I just can't take it anymore

Sporting a Nursing Shirt, and I'm Not, eh-hem, Nursing Anyone

2010-07-08T18:04:00.000-07:00

I'm back in town, but while I was packing, realized that I'm running terribly short on shirts that fit. Many are too big. Many are too small, and I didn't really want to do laundry while we were away, so I packed an old nursing shirt that fits right now and looks cute.

Fortunately, my 7 year old didn't remember it; nor did she look at my chest and salivate. My husband is another matter ;)

So, what's better than an evening out without the kids with the man of your dreams at the Melting Pot??? (Where I ate all four courses... and my husband can't eat gluten so I gobbled up all those unhealthy but very yummy dipping treats for the chocolate with no competition)?

Coming back home to see a new low weight on the scale!!!

I have a hunch though, when it comes to figuring out how that happened, in spite of our fondue-fun.

Although I ate well, and didn't really eat more than my share of the 4th of July festivity-food, I did work out. I ran three miles on my treadmill at home the day we left. Then I ran three more on my sister-in-law's treadmill a couple days later. Which, by the way, must have a minuscule incline to it even when it's set to zero, so I think I worked harder than I usually do.

But the real deal involves my first outdoor run in, oh, about 15 years. I don't know what got into me. Perhaps the slight incline of the borrowed treadmill. Or maybe it was the lack of a fan to blow on my face (my treadmill has one of those built into it, and it is AWESOME!) that drove me to run outside in South Florida at noon.

Let's see: treadmill inside with A/C and overhead fan, or outside with no fan (barring the breeze brought on by the plethora of passing cars) on one of the hottest days of the year in the tropics. I earn every one of my blond hairs on some days.

I didn't know how far to go, so I just decided to run out for 20 minutes, and then run back. The kicker was that the slight headwind that kept my face from burning, disappeared on the way home (with the cars at my back) and my upper arms started getting chills. I was wondering about heat stroke, and if goose-flesh is one of the symptoms. The clouds that formed a nice overcast layer when I left, miraculously parted and I got a sunburn on my chest.

My husband is not a runner, and when he spots someone running along the road he jokes, "Where's the fire?!"

Well, two fire trucks passed me on Del Prado while I ran, and I wanted to chuckle, but was too hot to expend the extra energy. He told me later that he heard them too, and was worried that I'd killed myself running. I was the only runner out that day...At first I thought that was just because elderly folks don't seem to run that often. But then two young bikers rode by. And now I have come to believe that only an idiot (or a natural blond?) would opt for a mid-day run in South Florida in July.

But I sweated. A lot. And this may be how I lost the weight this vacation :)

Off to Grandmother's House We Go

2010-07-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

Travelling and not losing my momentum has been a real challenge in the past. I don't know if it's because trips were one of the times I was allowed to eat junk food growing up, or just because I feel justified in taking a "vacation" from my healthy eating plan too. But in either case, I have to really plan not to make a mess of things when I travel.

Add travelling to staying with in-laws, and we have a recipe for some real upsets if I'm not super careful!

I'll be bringing protein bars with me when we go so that I always have a measured quantity of food that will fill me up and keep me on the straight and narrow. Other than that, I'll probably visualize some difficult situations and plan how I'll deal with them before-hand.

The fact that my kids are "clean eaters" is a real help to me though. They don't eat any of the typical junk foods that I might enjoy, so just knowing that they're watching how Mommy eats should help keep me accountable. My husband is also a healthy eater, so he's always good company when everyone else in our extended family is downing the stuff that's not part of our usual fare.

The best part of my plan? I've got a work-out plan in the works. My gym has reciprocal privileges with others around the country (Gold's) so I plan to go to a couple of classes.

How about you? During vacations; especially ones to places where you have little control over the menu, what tricks do you use to increase the chances that you'll come home with a proud smile on your face?

What I'm Running Away From

2010-06-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

We always hear that it's not good to run away from your problems, right? Well, I have a new twist on that old advice that says it's just fine, as long as you're sneakers are in good condition.

Yesterday I ran four miles on my treadmill (in about 43 minutes) for the first time in at least five years. Though I am still not at the pace I'd prefer, it felt really good, and I ended up with more energy than when I'd started.

I realized, as I huffed and puffed to my favorite play list, that I'm running away from some things:

Overly stuffed fat cells
Increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and early death
Depression and anxiety symptoms
Sore feet that carried too much weight, and rusty joints
Missed physical opportunities with my children
Missed physical opportunities with my husband ;)
The shame that follows a binge
The embarrassment the comes with being heavy
The sadness that comes with feeling like a failure

I'm sure I could add to this list, and perhaps I will, as I think of more. But to focus on the positive side, here's what I'm running toward:

The healthiest and longest life that God is willing to give me
Special memories made in all sorts of locations, during all kinds of activities with my precious family and friends
Long days at the pool, in a SWIMSUIT, rather than in pants
Happy times shopping for clothes that look nice and fit me well
A good example set for my girls
A body that is capable of running and playing and lifting things
Days that don't revolve around food and its over-consumption

Again, I'm sure this list will grow as I think of more benefits that come with the direction I'm running.

How about you? Are you running away from something and/or toward something else?

Fruit Like Candy

2010-06-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

I really hate some things about summer: the heat, humidity, mosquitoes, Japanese Beetles, monstrous weeds, etc.

But then there's the fruit. The sweet, juicy, melt-in-your-mouth ripe fruits that only come this time of year. I'm certain eating healthfully is much easier in summer than any other season.

First, your bathing suit is quick to remind you if you're backsliding. Second, it's almost too hot to want to be too full. And then there's the amazing selection of fresh produce to enjoy instead of munching on less healthy snacks.

My lunch today is pictured. That's a heap of plain Greek yogurt on top of a whole peach, and several scoops of watermelon. Yummy. And I am crazy full now. I may have overdone the watermelon scooping a tad.

On a less healthy note, I found an ice cream brand I've been looking for lately. Clemmy's makes a full-fat sugar-free ice cream that's not made with any artificial sweeteners, flavors, or colors. I believe they're using sugar alcohols for most of the sweetness.

I bought a little container of chocolate and one of vanilla. It'll take 200 calories from my daily budget for one little half of a cup, so I won't be eating this often! I give my girls one scoop of ice cream each week, and I think I can go with that schedule too. I took a little spoonful, and it was amazing...It's a good thing I'm not an ice cream fanatic. On the downside, the creaminess comes from cow fat, and I try to limit how much of that I eat. I prefer the coconut milk ice creams, because I believe that fat is healthier...but I have yet to find our favorite kind made with anything other than agave syrup, which I've come to find is not much better than sugar or corn syrup :(

I'm a Food Sneak

2010-06-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

Not the kind I used to be: sneaking food behind the backs of my children, husband, friends, and parents. Boy, have I eaten my share of calories in junk food behind the backs of others.

The kind of food I've been sneaking lately has all been healthy. I sneak some extra protein into a smoothie, or some extra fiber into my oatmeal. I sneak Omega-3 oils in the form of a capsule, because I really can only eat so much salmon.

I snuck some eggs into my girls today, in the form of "bread pudding". I didn't really know what to call it, so that's what it became. My oldest daughter (almost 9) asked me if I was using a recipe. "Yes", I said. (My own, as I make it up, loosly based on something I may have seen in Fannie Farmer!). She was skeptical about what I was making, and didn't want me to force her to try something she might hate. Like spinach, gasp!

I snuck in a bunch of 'heal' ends of the loaves of bread I was saving for the birds :) Sorry, birds! My girls ate your whole wheat crustiness without even knowing it.

I snuck in 6 eggs, a bunch of cinnamon, some nutmeg, and a couple of bananas. Then I threw in a handful of raisins and about 1/4 cup chicory root extract, and baked it all for about 40 minutes.

They LOVED it. There's only one serving left, which may be split between them for breakfast before church tomorrow.

I wonder if I could get some spinach in there next time without their knowing???

What Do You Do With 8 Pounds of Blueberries?

2010-06-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

You make Blueberry Crisp!! (Lots of it)

You are looking at a 9x13 dish that is nearly empty after I took another serving after this photo was snapped.

But there is redemption for the four of us who are responsible for downing nearly the entire batch! It was healthy :)

Here's my recipe, if you want to give it a whirl:

2 pound box of blueberries (hubby brought home 4 of these boxes from a youth group fundraiser at work!) or 6 cups-worth of fruit
1 Tbsp cornstarch
pinch salt
4 tsp Purevia or Truvia

Mix all of that together (I did it right in the dish).

1/2 cup Fava and Garbanzo Flour (hubby is gluten-free)
1 cup rolled old fashioned oats (some GF people are sensitive to oats, but hubby is not)
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
3 hand fulls of chopped walnuts
1/2 stick of grass-fed organic butter
1/3 cup maltitol syrup

I am guessing on the amount of maltitol syrup I put in. I just poured directly into the mixer as it was going, and I think I used that amount. I tasted a bit of the topping, and it was just a tad sweet. I also probably used more than 1/4 tsp of cinnamon. We love cinnamon, and it's good for blood sugar control, so I'm generous on everything with that! Finally, I think chopped pecans would taste better than the walnuts, but I don't have any of those in the house right now.

Mix the topping ingredients together until crumbly, and then spoon it onto the berries. Bake at 350 for about 45 minutes (berries are bubbly). This makes a dessert that is not that sweet. You can really taste the berries because they're not overwhelmed by gobs of sugar.

One of my girls suffered through eating the berries because she wanted the 'crisp' part. She's not big on cooked fruit. The other daughter is responsible for eating about half of the entire pan. (She's stick thin, and ate a good dinner, so I let her get another huge helping).

I guesstimated about 280 calories for a 3/4 cup serving. I've had three. Ouch.

But I ran 3 miles today, so I certainly earned at least one of those servings :)

Protein Bar Advice Needed

2010-06-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

Check out that ticker! I may be solidly in the 160's after all. After hitting 169.8 for the first time yesterday, I was prepared to see a hop back and forth into the 170's for a while, but perhaps I was wrong, and I'm done seeing that nasty little 7! One can hope :)

So I have a protein bar dilemma that I was hoping one of you might be able to help me solve.

I'm picky. Not with most nutritious foods, mind you. But with what I'll probably eat on a daily basis, I need to be selective. I am a protein bar junky- meaning, I eat one for most breakfasts. It's easy, and cranky-hungry-must-eat-now me, can handle unwrapping a bar, first thing, rather than whipping up some gourmet and healthy breakfast that I know many of you do on a regular basis. I'm just not there yet. Hence, my reliance on protein bars. Plus, I'm a night owl, so when I'm running late in the morning (which is usually the case) I can easily grab a bar on my way out the door, and eat it in the car. Try doing that with your gourmet breakfast, would ya?

Anyhoo, I do have standards:

It can't taste too much like dog poo
It can't be soy-based (if it has a little soy protein, fine, but the main protein should be something else)
It can't be sugar-laden
It can't have artificial sweeteners. I'm okay with a little sugar alcohol, or chicory root extract.
It should have close to 20 grams of protein
It should have some fiber
It shouldn't be over 250 calories, or so
It shouldn't have artificial flavors, colors, or preservatives.

So, I said I was picky.

Know of anything that fits these criteria??? I would be so very grateful for your input!

I'm Just Overweight!!

2010-06-13T16:37:00.001-07:00

I'm a cheering maniac today!!!

I finally hit the 160's after waiting for what felt like an eternity to do so. If you look at my BMI tracker, you'll see I am also officially overweight, rather than obese. I never thought I'd be happy to be overweight, but considering the alternative right now, I'll take it!

Also, today I completed a 40 minute incline/jogging program on my treadmill. It's the toughest one the machine offers, and a couple of months ago I tried it and had to quit about ten minutes in. Today? Finished with flying colors, drenched in sweat. It felt so good to know that I've made progress, cardio-wise. I know it helps that I'm lugging a bit less weight up that 10% incline, but still I can see my hard work paying off!

Finally, I'm having a hard time taking compliments. I actually rolled my eyes at the sweetest friend at church today, when she walked by and told me that I, "look[ed] really good". I felt so bad, I walked right back to her and apologized. She didn't even realize what I'd done, and totally understood. But it emphasized my problem with praise.

I know things are better. I know, compared to Frump Mama that I was prior to these last several months, things have gotten better, and an hourglass is starting to emerge. BUT, I know I'm not done. I still have a good chunk to lose, and that is probably where my unwillingness to acknowledge compliments originates. I suppose I must work on this...

Finally, a question for you healthy-eating bloggers: what are your thoughts on the Vitatops/Vitamuffins. Do you buy a mix and make your own, or buy them in the store? I'm new to the Vita scene, and have enjoyed them so far, but they are so pricey. I'm may experiment with a recipe of my own and see what I come up with.

The Outback Steakhouse Diet

2010-06-11T11:14:00.000-07:00

As we drove to Outback for dinner last night, I thought to myself, It'll figure if I finally lose weight after a big meal tonight.

Well, sure enough, I did. After two weeks stuck at the same stupid weight, I dropped a wee little bit. After eating: a 6 oz sirloin, a fairly dry salad (with croutons and cheese), a dry sweet potato, my daughter's mashed potatoes, and two slices of bread without butter.

Then? We came home, and I ate about 10 marshmallows (no sugar/sweetened with maltitol, they're GREAT!) and went about 1000 calories over my budget for the day. Go figure.

I did jog 3 miles in the morning, so maybe that helped a bit?

Today, I'm all about eating my veggies. I made stuffed red peppers, which, if I do say so myself, are super-yummy. The only problem, is I can't fully enjoy the flavor, because my tongue is still injured. By whom or what, you may wonder?

One of my Body Pump instructors, that's who. She thought throwing Fire Balls (you know, those super hot, cinnamon balls from childhood...they still make those!) during our class, perhaps to signify our burning muscles, would be motivating.

Well, motivating, it was not. What it did do, other than overshadow the pain in my legs, with a pain in my mouth, was destroy my sense of taste for the last few days. You know how hard that is on this Foodie?

3 Mile Run and a Pic

2010-06-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

I hopped on the ole treadmill for a 3 mile jog yesterday, and it actually felt pretty great! I think the cardio work I've been getting at the gym has really helped me use oxygen more efficiently. Less gasp, more huff.

I started off at 5 mph, and worked my way up to 5.3 at the end. The entire she-bang took me 35 minutes. Since I'd like to do a 10K race next summer, and perhaps even a triathlon, I figure I should start keeping track of my pace-progress. I'm still feeling a little shame about my slow pace. I used to be ashamed of my 10-minute mile pace during soccer season in high school, and I can't come close to that now. Oh well. At least I have a goal in mind, right?

The best part? I burned 450 calories, and used most of them up on a big hunk of Irish Cheddar cheese. Tisk, tisk.

Although my weight has been fluctuating (mostly in the UP direction) lately, I am feeling a little less self-conscious about swinging my derriere around at Zumba class. Our gym is doing "summer" themes this summer (you don't say!), and pictures were taken of us this last Friday night. And posted. On Facebook.

I'm not one to complain or anything, but the gym prohibits the use of camera-phones for "privacy" reasons. Should this not extend to the classes themselves? Where some of us are wearing skin-tight pants, and contorting our bodies into the least ladylike positions known to man?

Well, I'm past all this now, and since I'm on the web, I figured I should share the fun here too: I'm that tiny figure in the blue shirt, over on the right side of the photo, a few rows back. What you can't see, is the Zumba scarf I'm wearing on my backside that jingles when I shake and shimmy. Many of the ladies wear these scarves, and I love that they'll all throw reason to the wind, and be willing to make idiots of themselves along with me, all in the name of fitness and fun!

Harsh, but True?

2010-06-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

I came across an email written by a natural health-guru/doctor, and it struck me, not only with it's harsh nature, but also because I've read some blogs lately that have mentioned childhood obesity and parental responsiblity. I'm interested in your thoughts...

Angry meals on the menu

If you hate your child or grandchild enough to let him stuff his face with Happy Meals, then nothing the health police say will save your little critter.

But that won't stop them from trying. Santa Clara County in the nanny state of California has banned toys in junk-food meals that don't meet targets for fat, calories, sugar and sodium. Soon, restaurants there will face a $1,000 fine if they dare to serve up a plastic toy with their plastic food. That'll teach 'em!

But really, I can't think of a more perfect little message for the age of ObamaCare, where nutrition will be legislated and anyone who doesn't meet some D.C. bureaucrat's carefully negotiated vision of good health will be forced to pay, pay, pay. And believe me, you will pay.

Listen, I know a Happy Meal isn't much more than death in a cute little box... but I don't trust a bunch of politicians, lobbyists and bureaucrats when it comes to setting the rules for a healthy meal. You know they'll get it wrong every single time.

Besides, teaching your kid good eating habits is YOUR job, and if you don't want it -- tough. For most parents and grandparents, a Happy Meal isn't even a meal anyway -- it's a contract with a child: "If I give you fries and a cheap toy, will you shut up for half an hour?" But kids are like terrorists -- you can't negotiate with them. And if you don't have the nerve to tell your child he can't have a Happy Meal, then you're badly unprepared for everything else heading your way as your tot grows up. Remember, hell hath no fury like an overweight sack of raging teenage hormones.

Would you like fries with that?

Never coy when it comes to these toys, William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.

So does this guy have a good point, or has he fallen off his rocker?

Cantaloupe Bliss

2010-05-28T14:37:00.000-07:00

I am not a super-fan of melon, but the cantaloupe I ate for lunch today rivals the most sweet and perfect fruits ever grown.

I threw in 21 grams of slivered almonds and chopped pecans for some crunch, protein, and healthy fat, and enjoyed my own little bowl of fruity heaven.

This made me feel a little better after going Round Two with a sports bra (if you wear a bra, read on). Round One didn't go so smoothly, so I figured I should purchase a new bra, whose elastic was manufactured sometime after 1995, in a size more appropriate for a grown woman, rather than a teen soccer player.

I went to the local outlet stores and tried on enough bras to lift and separate all of the bra-less women featured in National Geographic magazine, and walked out 45 minutes later with two bras which set me back $50. Aren't outlets supposed to make shopping a less guilty pleasure? Now that I've worn both bras to the gym, I now know, I have paid dearly for misery. The kind of misery that makes breathing difficult.

Though my butt and belly may wobble, my chest is a strong foundation upon which you could place any structure, without concern for instability.

That is, until I reach my van after class. Then, all bets are off, and I am the nutty woman whose arms are retracted under her shirt while she curses and swears until she is free of her binding undergarment.

I drive home, free at last. And carefully avoid potholes and speeding. (Because who wants to face a cop with sweaty lap-boobs?)

Pants on the Ground

2010-05-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's happening to me. The ole pants are getting too baggy, and I'm between sizes, so the next size down are just a little bit too snug, and the current ones make me look like Frump Mama.

I'm apparently not the only one who's noticed this. My sweet friend, Lynn lent a pair of her pants to me while I was there for a visit. I'm not sure if this was because she was embarrassed to be seen with me, or because she was worried a stiff wind might cause me to take flight, leaving her with a tricky rescue attempt (or my kids, until my husband arrived in town to take them off her hands...).

It's not just my one pair of over-worn capri pants that are getting too big for my junk-in-the-trunk. My favorite pair of Land's End work-out capris are too. They gradually slide down as I wiggle and shake to the musak at Gold' Gym during group classes. I've found that I must wear matching (black) underwear under them, so the wigglers behind me won't realize that 10 inches of my underpants are peaking out from under my pants.

The underpants/pants phenomenon is something else, isn't it? I mean, the pants fall down, yet the underpants creep up, because there's less butt to cover. So I guess either way you look at it, I'm going to be covered. That is, until my underpants are so big, they fall on the ground too...that guy will have to pen another catchy song just for me then, won't he?

Bathing Beauty

2010-05-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I won't go so far as to stay that, once I walked through the gate at my BFF's swimming pool, I shocked others with my physique; that men fainted, and women grumbled in jealousy, BUT, I did go to the pool. In something other than capris and a t-shirt.

That has been my usual attire; at least for the last 5 years. I have been ashamed of myself for getting as big as I have, and my poor kids (save one trip to a beach, with the same wonderful friend) haven't gone swimming with me in way too long.

I sucked it up, and sucked it in, and wore a new Land's End suit (tankini with a swim 'mini' skirt, and halter top) in a size 14 on top, 16 on bottom. It wasn't too painful...I even flopped down on a lounge chair to get some vitamin D! Then I got in the VERY chilly water to play with my girls for a little while.

This is big for me. Now, I just have to work up the nerve to get semi-naked (dans la swim suit) at my own pool back home. See, my entire church lives in the same neighborhood that I do, and something about all of those people (the ones whom I should feel most comfortable with seeing all my flaws) getting close-range viewing of my bulges and cellulite just doesn't sound so appealing. So, I'll be working on my courage :)

Now for the REALLY amazing news? I haven't binged. Not once since I left my home to visit dear BFF, seven hours and two states away. This is huge for two reasons: I habitually binge while traveling. I typically take a vacation from food-reality when I take a physical vacation. The second reason, is that BFF and I are long-time, big-time, binge-buddies. It's bad, because we should have been a good influence on each other all these years, but boy we haven't been. I could down a seriously sickening quantity of doughnuts with BFF in my company.

So, not only haven't I binged, but I've worked out twice so far, counted all my calories, downed a zillion portions of veggies, and LOST weight. At least her scale says I have :) I'm hoping mine will sync with hers...And to be real, I give this amazing accomplishment's credit to God. I know it's not me. I'm a sucker for a vacation and my BFF's company around food.

I finally feel like there's serious hope for me. And that is truly huge wonderful-ness :)

Tug O Bra

2010-05-10T11:26:00.001-07:00

What's the rule about swim suits? If you can't get into it well while it's dry, don't even think about trying while it's wet, right? Well, this rule also apparently applies to sports bras.

Being the dedicated exerciser that I've been lately, I set my alarm early, so I could sweat a little before church. Feeling smug about my discipline, I got up, got some water, and hunted for a more snug sports bra since the one I've been wearing lately doesn't really do the trick when I'm bouncing up and down in Step class.

When I pulled it over my head (this bra has no hooks) the stretching caused it to crackle a bit. Perhaps the elastic is a little past its prime, since the little sucker was worn last when I played soccer in high school....a mere 16 years ago (and 65 pounds too, but who's counting?). Now that I think about it, the bra is a real classic; almost antique.

My chest looked bound. I could almost have passed for a man, I was so squished, and fat was pouring out along every edge of the fabric. I didn't have cleavage; I had a new butt, only in front, and a bit high. But alas, it was ON! And off I went, to jog 2 miles, all before church. I was patting myself on my bumpy back.

I survived both miles, sneering a little at my slower-than-high-school pace, and then rushed to get ready for church. I removed my shirt, socks, and pants, then went for the bra. I succeeded only in getting the bra above the "nurchies" (my youngest called them that back when she still nursed) but that is where it stayed. I tried, and tugged at the sweaty thing, but it was determined to remain in place. I can't begin to tell you how absurd I looked with an elastic band wrapped around my chest above, what gravity and childbirth has lowered substantially the last several years.

I had no one else to go to for help other than my poor husband. So, I bobbed down our stairs, manually keeping the goods in place, and asked for his assistance. It took him a few good tugs to free me, but it worked . And the bra is now retired. Know any 12 year-olds who need some extra support?

I Pay for This

2010-05-06T15:20:00.000-07:00

I occurred to me, while my legs were splayed in a very un-lady-like position, that I pay to be tortured. I pay the local gym instructors, to demand that I put a resistance band under my step, with my feet in the handles, so that as I lay on my back, my feet are pulled in opposite directions. The torture part comes in when I'm told to squeeze my feet together until my inner thighs and abs rebel and shake uncontrollably. Others around me wonder if I'm seizing. But the instructor (who is quite pregnant, by the way) knows better. She knows she's conquered another stay-at-home mom who just wants to be fit and trim.

I find myself wanting to be present while she's giving birth, so I can "encourage" her with her own words: "Are your abs sore yet? No? Well, maybe we should do this again, until you really feel something!"

I'm usually a very sweet person. I wish laboring mothers peace and comfort. Usually. This lady, and her band of ultra-fit cronies, has my respect. But I'm short on compassion, just now.

It Ain't Pretty

2010-05-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a few things over the last few weeks that I though I should jot down. That, and I'm procrastinating. I really hate cleaning our house...so blogging is my respite!

1. When I work out, I don't look too cute. I mean, there are bulges and jiggles, and sweat pouring every which way. Then I 'hover' on the floor, as directed by the evil instructor, and my shirt flops down exposing the 5 inches of belly sag that used to cover my babies before they were born. Me getting fit isn't all that pretty, but hopefully, it'll lead to a pretty me :)

2. Shouldn't they make those sanitary stickers that cover the inside of a lady's swimsuit larger for larger sized suits? I ordered a slew of Land's End bathing suits last week, hoping that one would fit and look half-way decent, and I noticed how little the sticker looked. My eyes could be getting worse as I age, but more likely, my suits have grown in that time, and thus, the sticker looks like it's there to serve as a bull's eye of sorts, "Put your bottom here!", rather than to protect the rightful owner of the suit from everyone else's, well, bottom.

3. Another swimsuit note: are they worried our butts might come popping out of the leg holes of the suits, or what? I know, at a size 14/16 I am bound to have my share of bulges, but the leg openings of each suit I tried on seemed to be small enough to cause gangrene to set in. The "swim mini" skirt covers this unfortunate deformity, but really, other swimmers will begin to notice the purple color seeping throughout my lower limbs eventually.

4. 179.4 looks better than 219.4

5. It's incredibly easy to consume an entire day's worth of calories in one short sitting.

6. All of the ladies I've met recently who are trying their hand and losing weight and getting fit, are VERY careful with their food intake. There are no free rides out there. I don't know if this makes me feel better because misery loves company, or just because I know I'm not alone.

Me, the Hovercraft

2010-04-10T12:04:00.001-07:00

The dreaded plateau has struck again. I know it'll pass, but the waiting is a real pain in the neck. I keep dreaming of nasty things I can do to my scale if it refuses to budge one more morning...death by water, putting batteries in with the plus/minus sides backwards, dropping from a two-story window?

Other than a hefty meal at a Mexican restaurant the other night, my food has been pristine, my work-outs beefy, and my mind clear. I'm ready for the 70's folks!

I have made a list of rewards for each 10-lb increment lost. I ran out of originality and had to repeat a couple:

170: new swim suit
160: massage
150: eye-lash dye (weird, I know)
140: outfit, or a couple of shirts
130: massage
120: RING AND NEW CLOTHES!!!

My husband has promised to buy a new bridal set for me when I reach my goal. I get the band to go with the solitaire when I've maintained my new weight for at least a few months. I have clothes for all of these sizes, because I've been in the 120's since having both of my girls...but it'll be nice to by some new stylish stuff to wear out and about.

I'd love to cash in some of these rewards, if only I'd quit hoviering right around 180....

They LIE!!!

2010-04-02T14:09:00.000-07:00

Aerobics instructors, that is.

I just joined a new gym in our area (LA Fitness). Well, it's new to our area, anyway! And I started out by attending the Body Works class. This is a class that uses weights throughout the session to tone various muscles. The instructors are trained by evil, evil people. So, when instructed to use a heavy weight, you should really reach for the medium weight, for example. At one point in the workout, I had to drop my little 2.5 lb weight because my shoulder muscles were screaming for mercy.

The next day, I took a Step class with abs. It's been at least 10 years since I've done one of the these classes, and fortunately, not a whole lot has changed. But there were moments when I literally laughed as I watched the entire class do some combination off of Broadway while I looked on as a spectator rather than participant.

Today? There's not one single task I can do without hurting. Peeing, petting the cat, blinking...it all hurts. Strangely, eating is no problem :)

Check This Out!

2010-03-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

So if you don't post and entry to your blog in, oh, FOREVER, then your weight may have changed significantly since your last diatribe. Hopefully, this change is for the better. And for me? I noticed I'd lost nearly 7 pounds!

This is such a good thing, because I need a boost lately. Not so much to my eating and exercise plan, but to my mood. A big change to a weight ticker is a nice little nudge.

I've gotten a few comments lately from friends, which has been gratifying. It's kinda funny to watch them struggle. The skinny ones always have a harder time with this. "You look great! I mean, have you...um. You look really good!!" This is where I can choose to help them out and volunteer, "Thanks, yes, (to answer the question you couldn't bring yourself to actually ask) I have lost a bit of weight."

The pastor at our church has gone on a big diet, which he's posting details about on his Facebook page AND a blog. Last month the man lost 25 pounds. This morning I told him that I'm happy for him and all, but it's just not fair. I kill myself (odd, I put it that way, since I'm treating my body better than ever before, eh?) to lose 7 or so, and he peels off almost 4 times that. But I'm glad he's posting about his success, because I try not to make comments about men's appearances as a general rule, so he's helping me side-skirt that by talking numbers. Numbers are good.

Now to something that has me really optimistic: a friend I've been sitting next to in a Bible study for months now (and who is funny as all get out, and has such a good heart), just sort of blurted out that she has had an eating disorder in the past, and is so stuck trying to lose weight now. She and I are the only two in our group who need to drop weight, and I assume that's why she opened up to me about it. But I'm SO excited! Not because she struggles as I do, but that we know about eachother now, and can support eachother. We've already planned to go walking a couple of times a week together. Now we can chat and burn fat. What more could a woman want? That was a stupid question now that I think of it: a size 6 swimming suit that looks good on, calorie-free chocolate, and my BFF local instead of 7 hours away...those would be nice too :)

I'm Here, I'm Here!

2010-01-21T19:11:00.001-08:00

So you may think that I've fallen off the face of the earth, but I haven't at all :) I just took a very long Christmas break. And I had house guests galore during this time and didn't want my dad peering over my shoulder asking all about this blog I'm writing.

SO, here I am, just a wee bit heavier than my status bar shows, but stronger than ever, eating healthfully and Wii-ing (Wii Active) my way back to my former low. I have a new toy in my arsenal, and I LOVE it. It's my favorite weight loss gadget so far, and on this long and often painful road, every little thing helps, right?

I received an iPod Touch for Christmas. It's much like the iPhone, but without the cell service (and the whopping fees that come along with it). I can browse via WiFi in my home, and around town at various hot spots. One of the many joys of this little computer gizmo is an Application (can't say, "App" because that word annoys the heck out of me) called Tap and Track. For a couple of bucks, I now own a walking food, exercise, and weight tracker with thousands of foods from home and restaurants stored in the memory. I don't have to be connected to the internet to use it, so it's always available, and I must say, it's been awesome to use. I used to track with Weight Watchers online, but I couldn't stand paying the monthly fee, and when I went out, I had to remember everything in my head to track when I got home. Forget travelling.
Now, my iPod goes everywhere I do, and so does my tracker. And no one looks at me funny as I enter my food. For all they know, I'm checking email!!

Although the month of December was tough food-wise, things have been going very well lately, and I'm as determined as ever. I changed my new goal to 170, just so I have something shorter term to look forward to. Hopefully I'll be back here before then!

The Chocolate Mousse Diet??

2009-11-12T10:17:00.000-08:00

I am a Clean Eater, hear me ROAR. Or, watch me shrink? Or be healthy and peppy, and obnoxiously optimistic???

Even a veggie eating freak needs a treat here and there, right? So mine is usually scheduled for Wednesday night when one of the ladies in my group brings a dessert to share. Last night, I was the chef, and I am glad to state that I will not be doing that again for a very long time!

I made a chocolate mousse pie. During the process I probably ate about half a serving just by licking various cooking apparatuses. (Aparati?) Note to self: cook with fewer utensils and bowls and notice how much less you must clean up with your tongue as you work.

It was a lovely creation/heart attack in a pie plate, and the ladies loved it. I had a slice and ate all but one bite of it. I normally never do that, but I was proving a point to myself; I do not have to be a card-carrying member of the Clean Plate Club.

By the time I got home I felt sick. Almost throw-up sick. I couldn't force down my daily salad because I felt so sick, so I went to bed, and decided I'm not making that again, and I may need to cut my weekly dessert portion down even smaller, if I even have one. What's the sense in enjoying five minutes of a sweet, creamy taste, if I'm going to feel so nasty afterward?

So what did the scale have to say about my affair with the mousse??????? I lost that last pound, and I saw an 8 on the tens place, WOOOOHOOOO!!!! I'm in the 180's, I'm in the 180's. I'd be cheering this around my house loudly and wildly, if I weren't trying so hard NOT to give my young daughters a body-weight complex.

Do I credit the mousse with my loss? Heck no. It was all that salad I ate last week :)

Almost Thirty!!

2009-11-08T10:22:00.000-08:00

Just one more pound, and I will have lost 30 whole pounds :) The first 20 came off several months ago, and I have fought the recent 10 like a mad woman. But it's worth it, and I'm so thrilled to be coming upon the 180's!! I haven't seen the 170's in a couple of years or so, and I am READY to sail through those and keep on trucking.

What has struck me as interesting since I started my Clean Eating Campaign, is that I am free from having to track, count, calculate, etc. I don't count points or calories anymore. I don't count servings. I really don't have any use for counting. And I love this, because it was getting pretty tedious. I had to do it, or else I'd have gone nuts trying to figure out if I'd eaten too much that day. But now, I eat when I'm hungry, and because the food only tastes good if I'm actually hungry, I naturally stop when I'm full. I do force myself to eat a big salad every day, and I never have done that before, but it's ok. I'm learning ways to dress up my greens so they're palatable.

One of my favorites is a huge, and I mean HUGE, heap of baby greens and romaine. (I literally had to buy an extra large bowl to fit my salads in. If that's not clean, you might catch me eating one out of my Kitchen Aid Mixer bowl. Yes, that big.) The greens are covered with carrot shreds, chick peas, grapes, pine nuts, and cilantro. If I have tomato or avocado around, I'll use that too. Then I use a couple of TBSP of Bolthouse Farms Yogurt dressing, or Newman's Own light vinaigrette. Then I crunch away until I have a clean bowl.

One of my new favorite quick meals for just myself is the Kashi brand Veggie Bake. It's whole grain, with lots of fiber and veggies, and it's pretty tasty. I've lost my desire for cooking, so I'm going for what's fast and healthy, and this hits the spot when I don't have pita with hummus in the house.

To those of you who held the intervention on my behalf the other day, THANK YOU!! I need the encouragement, and you all stepped right up and helped me out. I hope I can be there for others in their time of doubt, need, weakness, and celebration!

Stretch marks, Butt Eating, and Bread Sticks, Oh MY!

2009-11-05T12:03:00.000-08:00

Thanks to some wonderful comments on my post yesterday, (and God, of course), last night was a lovely, non-weight-gaining or diet-trashing, dinner with my friends. I was tempted. I waffled back and forth. I looked for a good reason, anything at all, to truly justify poor choices rather than healthy ones. But the health nut in me won, and I was down .6 on the scale this morning!!

I also had a wicked headache this morning, which I haven't faced in a couple of weeks. Food additives, anyone?

So I opened my menu and saw several dishes that I've loved in the past. They were loaded with cheeses, cream, and white-white pasta. Mmmm.

I watched as people picked out what they were going to order. Many were obsessed with what everyone else was having. Could it be that I'm not the only one at this table who is fighting an internal war right now?

I'd read somewhere that I should order first, before I could toss around others' choices and let that influence mine. But that backfired, because one of the other ladies, who is usually very restrictive in what she eats, ordered a bowl of Alfredo sauce as an appetizer to go with her bread sticks before we even got to dinner orders. If she's throwing all caution to the wind, maybe I should too...

In the end, I opted for chicken breasts (not a usual part of my daily fare) with asparagus, tomatoes, and broccoli. I also asked for my salad with the dressing on the side, and pick off all of the croutons. And when it came time for one of the ladies to pass around slices of her homemade chocolate raspberry cheesecake, I accepted a very small one and enjoyed every last little morsel.

I left comfortable, not stuffed, and was hungry by bedtime. Which, reminded me of a couple of conversations that went around the table during dinner:

Somehow we ended up discussing our stretch marks, and other lovely aspects of mothering (we were there for a baby shower). I am not alone in the road map all over my abdomen, apparently.

Then one of the ladies mentioned how she tries to go to bed hungry every night because Oprah said that if we go to bed hungry, our bodies eat our butt's fat cells while we sleep. This was said by one of the thinner ladies in the group. Hmmm, maybe she's thin for a reason??

This struck me because so many of us food-a-holics like to think that we're heavy because of our genes, or bad luck, or a misalignment of the stars. What I'm finding over and over again, is that thin people work at it. Even my ridiculously skinny husband intentionally limits himself on a daily basis.

Above all, I'm patting myself on the back for realizing (FINALLY!) that eating out does not mean that I should gorge myself. And that no food is so special, or "free", or so limited in availability that I must eat it "now or never". So here I head, into my third week of 95% clean eating, and I'm feeling very, very good about it.

Big, Huge, Stinking Bum(mer)

2009-11-04T11:19:00.000-08:00

Did my 'weigh myself only once per week' backfire? I stepped on that glorious wretch of a device this morning to find a .2 GAIN!!! What the heck is up with that?

My food was so clean this week. I exercised, I drank water, I ate like a rodent on a rampage. And I was expecting a least a couple of pounds to fall away....Now I'm wondering if I shouldn't just go back to weighing every day; and here's why:

We went to dinner last night at Ruby Tuesdays. I poured over the menu, looking at all of those lovely entrees loaded with cheese, creamy sauces, and tender meats. And I chose the salad bar. THE SALAD BAR. I had 2 or 3 plates loaded with romaine, spinach, chickpeas, soy beans, olives, carrots, peppers, mushrooms, and drizzled with LIGHT dressings. I also ordered their guacamole appetizer, which, by the way, was incredible.

After I was stuffed with salad greens, I ate some of the guacamole. It came with corn chips (I had a couple of hand fulls), salsa, and pico de gallo. It was fabulous, but everyone else was stuffed by the time it came (our server must have thought we wanted it for dessert??) so I probably ate more than I should have, hoping to clean my plate. That darn club won't let me go!

There was just no way I could finish it all, so I ended up packing away about half of it, and they sent us home with a refill of chips.

So the chips were a little salty, and so was the pico. My salad dressings were too, but nothing like the Amy's Tomato soup I had the other day. So, do I get to blame the gain on more salt than I usually eat. Some crazed magnetic pull that effects scale readings in my neighborhood (was there some sort of lunar event recently?). I need something! Anything. To justify this nonsense. Humph. If I had been weighing myself all week, perhaps I would have seen a bit of a loss prior to the salt-scepade.

The worst part of all of this, is that I have a fabulous dinner to go to with my Bible study ladies tonight at the Olive Garden. My plans (prior to my evil-scale-reading-rebellious-thoughts) were to order soup and salad, and then enjoy a small slice of the cheesecake one of the ladies is making for us.

Then I weighed this morning. What do I want now? 10 baskets full of bread sticks all for moi, 3 or 4 bowls full of salad dripping with dressing, the creamiest, cheesiest entree they have, and a HUGE honkin slice of that cake. I obviously need some help. Some prayers. An intervention. A one on one with my Creator. That would be nice :)

I Will NOT get on that scale!!!

2009-11-02T10:31:00.001-08:00

I always sleep with some water on my bedside table; thirst can strike at any time, right? Or a fire, or a coughing kid, or insomnia which requires a little squirt of melatonin followed by a good rinse.

My water is serving another purpose now. If I drink some before I get out of bed in the morning, then I render any scale readings (should I lose my resolve to wait until Wednesday mornings) inaccurate. And this, my friends, is perfect for the OCD person in me who won't settle for an off scale reading.

I had to guzzle that water this morning, because I WANT TO KNOW!!!! I tried on some pants I am hoping to wear without looking like a streetwalker. Not yet. I looked in the mirror. Still puffy. I am hunting for encouragement here.

So I am sitting here trying to come up with some NSVs. It turns out there are quite a few:

When I get out of bed in the morning, my feet don't hurt anymore. It used to be quite painful to start walking around for the day.
I can wear something other than this one pair of black stretch pants that would fit an elephant (if an elephant so desired).
I am not hiding as much as I was.
I was able to traipse all around Disney World while we were there last month and fit all the rides, and enjoy the fun with my kids. This is a priceless memory for me.
I have been eating out and ordering healthy foods. I have been eating salads galore, and fresh fruits. I haven't touched a hydrogenated fat, artificial color or flavor, or nitrite. Nearly 98% of my calories the last two weeks have been life-giving, disease-fighting foods.
I still have hope.
I am exercising reasonably.

I can wait to weigh another 48 hours, right? And although I'm hoping for a nice, big loss, I can cope if it's not, because I know that each day that I live and eat this way, is one more day and another step toward lifelong fitness.

Just a Sliver, Please!

2009-10-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

I did it. I went a whole week eating like a crazed semi-vegetarian health nut. All whole grains (in limited quantities), tons of fruits, heaps of leafy greens, nuts, beans, and NO JUNK!!! I'm so proud of myself- and my local sewage system for handling the end results, eh hem.

The payoff? A sweet 6.4 lb loss this week. How cool is that? I know next week won't show such a nice, big loss, but I'd settle for 2 or 3! And the wonderful thing is that I think it can really happen. But we shall see...

Tonight was a test for me. I attend a weekly bible study with a group of fabulous ladies who, for the most part, are free of the food issues that plague me. Each week one of us will bring in a dessert to share. Sometimes fresh fruit shows up too, or like tonight, two different people will bring a treat in. The selection this evening included a home made pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing, and a plate of freshly baked home made chocolate chip cookies.

I watched and silently debated while a friend cut pieces and passed the servings around. I hemmed and hawed. Do I have a little slice and enjoy it? There's real pumpkin in there and that's a veggie. I could pass, and it wouldn't be the end of the world. I have been doing so well. Why mess with success? But it is a special event; it's not like I have a whole cake lying around the house begging me to finish it off, right? Hmmmm. What to do, what to do.

"Kate, would you like a slice?" I was out of time with that question, and I replied,
"It looks so good. O dear. Well..... (still buying time) I'm fighting a cold, and I don't want to cripple my immune system....(more time purchased, hiding many of the real reasons that I am struggling to make a choice). How about a little sliver? Like, thinner than the one you gave Mary?"

And with that, I was served a lovely, thin slice of delicious cake which probably cost me about 100 calories total. I was already hungry again by the time we parted for the night, and came home to a nice bowl of Irish oats with walnuts, raisins, cinnamon, and no sweetener.

And I feel good. I ate moderately. It wasn't extreme. It wasn't damaging. It wasn't ten cream horns, 2 quarts of ice cream, and a week of fast food runs.

It was healthy (not necessarily the cake), my attitude. And I am proud of myself, for the first time in a long time. So here I look forward to another week of ridiculously healthy eating, and next week, when the ladies and I go out for dinner together, I will hunt for something good for my body, and enjoy their company, and go home feeling fed, instead of sickened.

Me, The Bunny Rabbit

2009-10-26T17:25:00.000-07:00

It may have appeared that I fell off the face of the blogosphere, but alas, I was just on a wee vacation. Literally. And it was good. Really, really, good. Lots of walking, lots of memory making with our kids, lots of salads, and unfortunately, lots of extra calories.

Then we came home, and I promptly had a mini-nervous breakdown. It preceded some hormonal changes by about a day, so there's one good explanation, but, it was also caused by a stark realization that I have been trying to kill myself with a fork since the age of about 11.

This is a horrible reality to face. For a while, I just felt like I was ruining my figure with my gustatory indiscretions, but to see the science, the studies (I read a detailed book), the PROOF that I'm begging for cancer, heart attacks, diabetes, and joint/bone issues with each and every junk-foody bite was very painful to acknowledge.

And as I am one not to face the pain alone, I promptly woke up my soundly sleeping husband so he could help me cope. He did help me put things back into perspective. We came to the conclusion that I need help. Well, now there's a soo-prise! What shall I do? I'm still thinking about it, but some sort of weight loss support group would be nice.

In the meanwhile, I have faithfully chomped away on an over-abundance (in my opinion) of greenery, nuts, oats, fruits, and small amounts of meaty protein. I haven't weighed myself (except for one little peak this afternoon) in almost a week!! And, although I MISS JUNKFOOD, I feel pretty good about my commitment to the healthy life.

Silver Lining

2009-10-07T11:34:00.001-07:00

I struggled a lot last week with scale-based frustration. I am about a month into a tweaked version of my new lifestyle (in hopes to lose more than just one pound each month) and as the scale refused to budge, I became more and more irritated. Why am I burning 600 calories on my treadmill followed by the Torture-Shred, and watching every little calorie that goes past my lips (giving up my "flex" food for the week) only to see a whopping .2 loss on the scale in a week?

That's a big commitment for someone who has enjoyed absolute slothful behavior (my jaw got lots of exercise!) for the last few years, and lots of sugar/fat laden treats at will.

So, how did I respond? By eating horrible food all weekend long, and giving my poor, beleaguered muscles a 4 day siesta.

Was this productive? Nope. I am now re-losing the 4 pounds I gained, which is a great ton of fun, let me tell ya.

Something had to change. Something must, or else I'll repeat this error over and over for the rest of my life, and look forward to retirement one day donning muumuus and 'housecoats'. Lovely.

With so much in life, I think it comes down to perspective. Strategy in thinking, if you will.

Instead of working out like a maniac on a mission, I can remind myself that my emotional health (elevated heart rates do wonders for depression and anxiety-the latter is a big issue for me) depends upon a good, heart-pumping workout most days of the week. If I take the focus of my workouts from speedy weight loss, and shift it to health and fitness, then I am less likely to feel jilted when my hard work doesn't translate into great gobs of fat loss.
Instead of feeling deprived when I speed past the fast food joints, I can instead be grateful that I live in a part of the world where fresh fruit and veggies, natural meats, and whole grains are available if I choose to eat them. And as a result of that choice, I can avoid cancer, diabetes, tooth decay, and heart disease to the best of my ability.
Instead of crumpling into a heap of despair when I don't see a big loss on the scale, I can be grateful that I didn't lose a limb in a car accident this week, which would result in a really big loss on the scale.
Instead of dreading my daily workouts, I can be grateful that I can workout. I'm not wheelchair bound; I'm not fighting for my children's welfare amid a civil war, or under communism. I'm not working three jobs and juggling the care of my kids as a single mother. I can workout, and I can do it in comfortable clothes, followed by a refreshing shower, and if it's too hot outside, I'm blessed to have access to a treadmill or stationary bike inside, cooled by a powerful fan.
Instead of feeling stuck in an addiction to food, I can reach out and share hope and encouragement with other strugglers. I am able to connect online, on the phone, and at meetings for other food hyper-lovers :)
Instead of trying to solve every problem with a binge, I can remember that problems are always worse when I'm overweight. Problems or not, thin and fit is a better way to face adversity.

Speaking of hope and encouragement, yesterday Jen posted a poem which I found so inspirational. I'm thinking of posting a copy over my computer for future reference.

It's Jillian's Fault

2009-10-04T15:08:00.000-07:00

She made me do it.

This crazy "Shred" workout video of hers is probably designed to help people lose some inches and fat, but what it really does is trick unsuspecting victims into a form of delayed-torture that produces its debilitating results 12 hours after the "work-out".

Then, the smart victims choose to recover for three days by avoiding all physical activities that might cause the contraction of any bodily muscles shy of the eyeball rotator-thingies (I got a D in anatomy and physiology; can you tell?) and also eating cheesecake. Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. (The muscles in my tonge and jaw were not compromised.) Lots of cheesecake; and a little fast food tossed in for fun.

What the heck was I thinking??? I kind of know. I was ticked because I hurt myself so much by taking orders from the TV personality who must not realize that if she makes one wrong move, we'll all get an eye full of her nether-regions(The above picture actually is fairly reserved compared to some). Really? Who wears their pants that low? We're all quite aware of her abdominal perfection. Perhaps she's just making really darn sure that we all know that she's not hiding a tummy pooch. I mean, where would it be, if she were? Beneath some razor burn? (Sorry; these ultra-low pants obviously bother me). I'm not jealous. Well, of the belly, yes. Of the partial nudity, no.

I was also full of self-pity because of all the really hard work I've done lately with very little movement in numbers on the scale.

So a few days of unabashed eating have me wondering what the heck I'm going to see on the scale this week. I didn't weigh myself this morning, and I'm beginning to wonder if I should skip the daily WIs, and do it only once each week. Do you weigh daily? Why have you chosen to/not to?

You Might be New to a "Lifestyle Change" If...

2009-09-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

See? I didn't call it a "diet". Because it's not, truthfully, so we must stop thinking of it that way. But, I have noticed that there are some tell-tale signs of those of us who are working on changing the food/movement-styles in our lives.

So, you might be new to your lifestyle change if:

Your typical 45 minute grocery store trip takes you 2 hours (because of all the label reading and trips to return items that you knew shouldn't be in your cart to begin with.)
You stare at other women's physiques (for comparison purposes-what does she weigh? body-fat %? does she work out? does she need a "lifestyle change" or was she born with a good lifestyle?)
You try looking distractedly at the ceiling of your car as you drive by your favorite fast-food joints, just to discover that this is an effective way to lose a limb, not fat.
You experiment with recipes to lower their fat/sugar content, and actually find them palatable. Your non-lifestyle changing spouse, however, won't touch the stuff. (Cheesecake with stevia, for the record, is not so good to people who aren't in starvation mode).
Your pets begin to look tasty. Where are those clippers?
You begin to dream in "points values" or "calories". The nightmares begin when the budget has been depleted.
You find yourself telling the whole world, via a website ending with "blogspot.com" about your fat rolls, sweat stains, and bowel movements (they help, come weigh in day).
Your kids ask to play the Wii, and you visualize stepping on a scale in front of a stranger for your "WI".
You give running/jogging a try; not toward a cream puff, or away from a mountain lion, but because it'll free up a couple extra points or calories for your fat-free, sugar-free, Giant Ice Cream Bar.

and last but not least,

You have hope.

A/C is out, and other excuses...

2009-09-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

Our upstairs A/C unit has finally rebelled and died. The guy who's supposed to come to diagnose the problem won't be here until Wednesday, so we get to enjoy the next few hot days here in the southeast with an oven for a bedroom. My treadmill and stationary bike are also upstairs, so I am now going round-3 with myself about how much I really want to get a good, really sweaty workout in today. (Or the next few days, for that matter).

I opened all of the windows last night, assuming that the overnight temperature would drop lower than the 84 degrees my thermostat was registering. We all went to bed with very little on, and left all bed covers at our feet. By 4 a.m., it had actually cooled enough (78, wooohooo!) for me to pull my top sheet over my well-insulated body.

My youngest daughter is a mainstay in our bed, and last night almost changed that. She is one hot little sucker. And she has the propensity to drape her sizzling little legs over me (she's done this since her babyhood). My husband and I spent the better part of the night tossing her back and forth like the hot potato she was. At one point (when I looked over and saw him half-draped off his side of our king sized bed, in an attempt to avoid contact with the spud) I took pity on him, and pulled our personal heater back toward the middle of the bed. I had enjoyed my moments of splayed arms-and legs-cooling, and felt guilty enough to share the wealth of our sleeping real estate.

This entire situation reminds me of the semester I spent in Europe. The family with whom I lived, like most in their country, had no A/C and no screens. The last few weeks of Spring ushered in one heck of a record-breaking heat wave, and I got to decide between being eaten alive by bugs while I slept, or waking up in the morning, medium-well. I chose the bugs, but waited to open the window until after my insect-attracting lights were turned off. This helped a little, but I still had many critters who visited my room at night.

Remembering that time of my life, I find new perspective: be grateful for the screens in our windows, a wonderful family I get to suffer with, and get my rear end on my bike and sweat on purpose. And pray for clouds.

Belly Dancing

2009-09-24T15:43:00.001-07:00

That's what my belly does when I ride my recumbent stationary bicycle. Each time a leg comes around, it pops my good abdominal appendage, and it starts dancing! For the record, I would rather be performing the more traditional sort of belly dancing (for my husband's eyes only, of course!), but at least my sorry-chubby-self is working on it!

I have a good forty minutes most days of the week while I'm working up a good sweat, to think about where I am with my weight, food, and body shape. And today I was dismayed to realize that I was right about 200 pounds when I gave birth to both of my children. After they were born, I quickly dropped about 30 pounds, and STILL thought I was a huge mess. "Just look at us now!!!" scream my fat cells.

I hate to be hitting a 'new low' each week, only to realize that only a few years ago, the same weight was a 'new high'. Why couldn't I have come to my senses then???

I'm over it, for the most part. Because moping about what I've done isn't going to get me any further in this journey...so I will focus on the good stuff. I lost this week at my WW weigh in. If I do that each and every week, I will reach my goal eventually, and will work my tail off to insure that the numbers on the scale never creep back up.

Bit Off More Than I Could Chew

2009-09-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

And, miracle of miracles, I'm not talking about food!

You know you've done it though. You're out to dinner with someone you're not super comfortable with, and you take a much bigger bite of your meal than you should have, and now you can't chew without showing the other person your wide-open mouthful, so you sit there in a panic: What do I do? Spit it out? Cover my mouth with my hand/napkin while I chew, mouth-wide-open. Can my dining pal tell that I fee like a chipmunk?

Rather than food, it appears that my eyes are not only bigger than my stomach, but also my cardio capacity and muscles. I have been working out on my treadmill, and I have not been milling. I have been seriously treading. So, some idiotic and adventurous part of me that should be shot, decided that I should go for the 40 minute pre-programmed workout that goes up to speeds of 6 MPH and an incline of 10. Yes, and I still weigh almost 200 hundred pounds and have been exercising for almost two whole weeks now....

So the warm-up went well :) and then the machine started going crazy-fast, and inclined like a horse who's rearing might, and I was running and gasping, and felt really stupid for not attaching the magnetic panic cord to my shirt, because who can spare the energy to reach over and reduce the speed or incline, when blinking is chore? And there's no speedy-reduce incline/MPH button. I was using my arms to pump wildly, because without them, this uphill torture just wouldn't work, and now an arm has to be set aside to push the button down something like twenty times to slow the belt to a reasonable speed.

The good news, is I survived, and was able to hit the buttons a sufficient number of times to prevent cardiac arrest. I "finished" my workout at a more reasonable pace, but let the machine finish its up and down incline routine for the remainder of the 40-minute program. At its steepest incline, I wished for some sort of strap to wrap around my back to attach to the treadmill, so I could relax into the hill and just move my legs (kind of like walkers of very large dogs do, when their dogs take them for a walk). But I toughed it out, and burned a healthy 348 calories.

I'll get back to that particular form of machinery-imposed torture in a few months, when I am more likely to be able to handle it. In the meanwhile, I'll be calling the shots on that machine.

What I Will Not Miss

2009-09-14T12:06:00.000-07:00

This will serve as a reminder of all that I hated about being heavy when I'm thin and healthy again, with the purpose of helping never forget why I forge on with this lifestyle choice of mine. So here goes:

I don't care much for my belly roll. It makes my pants look lumpy, keeps me from wearing trendy clothes, and gets in the way when I shave my legs.
Puffy elbows are not attractive on me. Elbows were meant to be bony.
My face is bloated, and puffy.
I am deathly afraid of my picture showing up on various social networking sites.
I could go the rest of my life without hearing my young kids mention how, "Our mommy is the biggest one in the family, just like our Mama cat is!"
Weighing more than my husband is humiliating.
Hesitating to buy life insurance because the rates will be high right now, is probably not such a good idea.
My rear end is flat, and it's supposed to be round. The extra fat has created a lumpy, boxy appendage that isn't so cute in tighter clothing. But bulky clothing just makes me look bigger. Lumpy or frumpy? Take your pick.
My liver is probably covered in fat, and my internal fat likely crowds out my abdominal organs.
If I had to chase down a kidnapper who'd stolen one of my children, I'd probably giggle myself to death before I saved the day.
Sitting by the side of the pool in my capri pants (because I can't stand the sight of my legs in shorts right now and wearing a suit is enough to give me a cardiac arrest) while the rest of my family plays happily in the cool water, is not my idea of fun. And it's very hot.
Being afraid of bumping into old friends who've never seen me heavy is sometimes stressful enough to bring on a mini panic attack
My chest is heavy, bulky, and far too generous for my taste. I miss my lighter mammary glands, and so do my over-burdened bras.
Crossing my legs comfortably would be nice.
Running without killing my knees would great too.

I think that should do it for right now. I'm sure I am missing some, so I may add to the list as I remember other things.

What I really look forward to doing, is making a list of all the things I love about being thin and fit when I get there!

The Scale Has Been Defeated!

2009-09-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

I won, I won! And now my week of hard work is finally paying off numbers-wise. This, after I ate a horribly salty Marie Calendar's dinner last night, which gave me a migraine, incidentally.

I have saved nearly all of my weekly points up until now, and if I don't eat them by tomorrow, they will disappear. Perhaps if I skip them this week, more of my rear end will disappear instead?!

Yesterday was my day off from working out. My kids have me really busy on Fridays, and I have to get out of the house first thing, so it seems like a perfect choice. I know ladies who get up early (like, with the help of an alarm, gasp!) to work out or get a Bible study done, and I admire them. Not enough to do such a crazy thing myself, mind you. I am perfectly happy doing all of those wonderful things when the sun is high in the sky and smiling brightly at me. No need to get all nutty about it!

My "official" weigh in is on Monday evenings, but I don't know that I'll be giving them as much credit as my first-thing-in-the-morning ones. First, I refuse to starve myself all day to get an accurate number. Nor am I willing to wear the same thing each week. Finally, I am a serious water drinker, and figuring out how much I drank last week in order to keep consistent with this week's amount would be next to impossible. So I know I'll see weird fluctuations, and I'm ok with that. It's the trend in numbers that counts, right?

Belly Flop

2009-09-10T12:08:00.000-07:00

If I'm looking for reassurance from my scale that I'm on the right track, and the pounds are just peeling off, then I'm looking in the wrong place.

I hardly ever use the word "perfect" to describe myself or my actions, but I'll be darned if my food and exercise habits the last few days haven't been just that: PERFECT. Has my scale honored me with a confirmation of all my hard word? A little encouragement? ANYTHING?? Nope. In fact, it shows that I've gained.

While the weight loss fanatic in me is going nuts over this, the logical, scientific, reasonable side of me knows that I've probably gained some muscle mass in the last few days, and my sodium intake has been rather high, so I'm probably retaining water.

Plus, what good is fretting about this anyway. What am I going to do? Go drown my sorrows in a milkshake (or 10)? That is akin to coming out of a store in a downpour without an umbrella, and in dismay, throwing myself belly first into a big puddle out of frustration that I may get wet in the rain. Productive? No.

Rather, I could be logical, acknowledge the bummer of getting wet, run to my car, and get on with life.

Kate-Weight-Watching

2009-09-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

After a week spent with a dear, wonderful, so-very-sweet friend of mine, I'm back in town, and not much worse for the wear. I was GOOOOOOD with food most of the trip, but the last two days were a bit of a bust. I'm going to focus on those good days though, because when you're me, and you can put on 10 pounds in one week without much effort, slapping on just a couple is a good thing.

Finding that I need a boost and some extra motivation, I have decided to pop into some Weight Watchers meetings for a couple of months, if not for the rest of my life....They are offering one month free (after you pay for the first one; there's always a catch, ya know) so, being a sucker for a good deal, I've printed out my monthly pass, already tracked the protein shake I just drank on my online food tracker, and will spend the next couple of weeks hunting for the best meeting in my area.

I've also started reading a book by Kim Benson. She's a lady who lost over 200 pounds, and she's something else, I tell you. She started her last and finally successful weight loss attempt the same week her father died. If she can do that, I don't see what excuse I can use to wait until "next Monday" to take care of myself by eating foods and getting the exercise that my body and mind need.

Cat on the Treadmill

2009-08-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

They're nimble, they're quick, but apparently they're not as smart as we once thought.

My cats each seem to need to figure out on their own, that treadmills have a tendency to shoot an unsuspecting feline across the room when the lady of the house is pounding away on the machine.

While otherwise fine, our boy cat's ego is probably a little damaged. Some good snuggling later ought to cure what ails him.

I, on the other hand, am elated :) I spent about 40 minutes sweating on my electric dust collector, and used a broad range of speeds and inclines to keep up to the beat of one of my old Cranberries albums. I saw my heart rate reach 163 at one point! The readout declared that I burned about 300 calories, which is about twice what I ate for breakfast, so I burned 140 calories of pure fat!!

My first goal is to see 190 on my scale by the end of September, and I am now at least a small fraction of the way there.

My New Head-Band

2009-08-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

A special friend of mine is starting a new chapter in her life as she has a Lap-Band installed today (applied, placed, inserted?). "Installed" sounds like she's getting a new kitchen sink put in, but that's the best word I can dig out of my sugar-binge-recovering brain.

SO, not to be outdone, I'm counting today as my first with my new "headband". The Band for my brain. I need a procedure, but the Lap Band isn't an option for me, so this here Yoga Band will have to suffice.

What will my Band do? Remind me that I need to avoid complacency. I need to exercise. I need to re-read the most inspiring advice that makes so much sense when I don't have a Double Stuff Oreo in my clutches.

I'm not starting over. I am done doing that. Plus, I haven't re-gained more than a few pounds, so I will consider the last few binge-eating days as a wake-up call. WAKE UP!!!!

I have also decided that it is not as much fun to lose at a snail's pace. I am setting 10 pound per month goals for myself, and I will be darned if I don't keep them. It can be done; it's been done before by others, and if I have to drag myself onto my treadmill multiple times in one day, I will not sit at this same stupid weight any longer.

With this new resolve in place, I see that being at my goal weight is possible by next swim season, and I will be in that pool, in a new suit, enjoying the water and sun with my kids. I am done sitting on the side (of the pool, of life...). It's time to jump back in, and I'm heading there with my eyes wide open, head(banded)-first.

Flirting with the Arby's Guy

2009-08-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

I love my husband and wouldn't knowingly flirt with any other guy, but I fear I sent the wrong message to the young lad manning the drive-thru window at Arby's last night.

I have been BAD the last few days with fast food. I normally avoid the stuff, unless it's a salad. At least the last several months I have, but I had a hankering (for what, I guess I wasn't quite sure), so I popped on a tee shirt and pants, and left on a late evening trip alone for some fat crack.

I really wanted a milk shake from Chick Fil A, but they're good little worshipers and close on Sunday. While I find this heartwarming and wonderful, it really put a wrench in my craving-works, so I settled for a sandwich from Arby's. I don't quite get why my brain thought a roast beef sandwich would be a good substitute for a strawberry milkshake either.

In my lightening fast departure from home, I didn't bother with a bra. It was dark, who'd be looking, right? But then, the bright lights of the upcoming Arby's window spooked me a bit, and I quickly swung my hair, which is quite long right now, over the front of my shoulders on either side to cover my sagging, nipply self. Then I checked my work in the mirror. Then I checked the guy in the window, who was checking me out while I appeared to primp. For him. Uggh.

I grabbed my bag, sure the guy could see up the short sleeve of my shirt, through to my bare left breast, and smiled graciously. Please don't look at my boob, please! But my smile was probably not taken for the pleading for which it was designed, and instead for more flirtation. I sped off in my mini-van, realizing moments later, that I probably looked like I was trying to impress the guy with my mad driving skills and wheels to accompany them.

Humiliated, I grabbed for a bite of my sandwich. Though tasty, it was not a milkshake. So I turned toward the Dairy Queen on the other side of the intersection. But right next door is a McDonald's. They have shakes. I hate McDonald's about as much as I despise Walmart, but I didn't want a stiff shake with a spoon stuck in it; does DQ have shakes? So I swung over to McD's and added chocolate chip cookies to my small vanilla milkshake order. You try to say, "Triple Thick Shake" three times fast.

The cookies were okay, but that shake was a sorry excuse for what I really wanted. So did I drive home, conquered? No. I drove over to Dunkin Donuts. On the way, I decided I really wanted something bubbly. Root beer would have to stand in for Dr. Pepper (my fave) because it was late, and I don't need caffeine helping my thoughts keep me awake at night, so I scanned the drive thru menu. I asked the lady if they had Root Beer. She listed everything off, and Pepsi products were all they had, so I passed, and settled for two glazed donuts.

I munched on my sandwich and cookies, and didn't swallow in time. The Dunkin Donuts lady caught me with food in my mouth while I was there buying more food. At least she didn't think I had a crush on her, right?

I spotted Starbucks as I pulled away from Dunkin Donuts, and drove there, in search of my soda (which could solve the milkshake dilemma) and was politely informed by the girl in that drive thru, that they don't have fountain drinks. Well hmff.

Not to despair, I looked left, and noticed the new Hardee's was open for business, and surely they'd have a soda for me! I drove to the menu and on the window before me was an ad for Bacon Ranch Fries. OOOOH! Did a fast food chain finally realize that we all want Outback's cheese fries right in the convenience of our cars? Bra-less fries, for me!

I ordered some of the fries, and saw they also offered Root Beer. My lucky night! I pulled around, paid and took my food, and sucked down the first sip of my root beer. It was horribly under-syrupped. Ick. I'm not usually a complainer, but the stuff looked pale. I pulled back around, and let them know my problem. They happily offered to replace my drink. I opted for the Dr. Pepper after all; sleep could wait.

On my leisurely drive back home, I ate the rest of the three cookies, took a few bites of a stale donut, drank 4 or 5 sips of the shake, finished the sandwich, and drank half of my Dr. Pepper. The fries were a disappointment akin to receiving new underwear for Chirstmas instead of a toy. Think bacon bits scattered on fries coated with dripping, hot, ranch dressing.

The victory? I didn't use this crazy waste of time, calories, and money as an excuse to run out, first thing this morning for the real thing at Chick Fil A. That'll have to wait until I can justify the expense of 700 calories in my daily budget.

Wee Little Lie

2009-08-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

So I don't really have 100 pounds to go until I reach my goal (thank the Lord), but I did back in February. On my 5' 3 1/2" frame, 220 pounds do not look pretty. They don't feel pretty either, and I'm not putting up with it anymore! I've been making this up as I go, but I've been doing something right, because I don't have 100 pounds to lose anymore.

I only have 77. Ugh.

But, I am forever an optimist, and I'm loaded with determination, so if it takes me a decade, I will do it. But more importantly, I will maintain the loss. If/when I post pics, they'll be doctored. I won't airbrush away fat rolls and hail damage, but I will probably chop off my head. I know too many people who do not need to know the intimate details of my life, so anonymity is going to be the name of my game. I may even get really paranoid, and take pictures in a dressing room of myself in clothes I don't own, so my wardrobe won't give me away. Maybe I'll have some big fun, and try on really hideous clothes just to lighten the mood until I get down to my goal weight and can really have some fun in a dressing room.

In the mean while, this mom of three young kids, with some big weight to lose, is going to throw the rest of the brownies away so she can make some headway this month.