I did it. I went a whole week eating like a crazed semi-vegetarian health nut. All whole grains (in limited quantities), tons of fruits, heaps of leafy greens, nuts, beans, and NO JUNK!!! I'm so proud of myself- and my local sewage system for handling the end results, eh hem.
The payoff? A sweet 6.4 lb loss this week. How cool is that? I know next week won't show such a nice, big loss, but I'd settle for 2 or 3! And the wonderful thing is that I think it can really happen. But we shall see...
Tonight was a test for me. I attend a weekly bible study with a group of fabulous ladies who, for the most part, are free of the food issues that plague me. Each week one of us will bring in a dessert to share. Sometimes fresh fruit shows up too, or like tonight, two different people will bring a treat in. The selection this evening included a home made pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing, and a plate of freshly baked home made chocolate chip cookies.
I watched and silently debated while a friend cut pieces and passed the servings around. I hemmed and hawed. Do I have a little slice and enjoy it? There's real pumpkin in there and that's a veggie. I could pass, and it wouldn't be the end of the world. I have been doing so well. Why mess with success? But it is a special event; it's not like I have a whole cake lying around the house begging me to finish it off, right? Hmmmm. What to do, what to do.
"Kate, would you like a slice?" I was out of time with that question, and I replied,
"It looks so good. O dear. Well..... (still buying time) I'm fighting a cold, and I don't want to cripple my immune system....(more time purchased, hiding many of the real reasons that I am struggling to make a choice). How about a little sliver? Like, thinner than the one you gave Mary?"
And with that, I was served a lovely, thin slice of delicious cake which probably cost me about 100 calories total. I was already hungry again by the time we parted for the night, and came home to a nice bowl of Irish oats with walnuts, raisins, cinnamon, and no sweetener.
And I feel good. I ate moderately. It wasn't extreme. It wasn't damaging. It wasn't ten cream horns, 2 quarts of ice cream, and a week of fast food runs.
It was healthy (not necessarily the cake), my attitude. And I am proud of myself, for the first time in a long time. So here I look forward to another week of ridiculously healthy eating, and next week, when the ladies and I go out for dinner together, I will hunt for something good for my body, and enjoy their company, and go home feeling fed, instead of sickened.