Thanks to some wonderful comments on my post yesterday, (and God, of course), last night was a lovely, non-weight-gaining or diet-trashing, dinner with my friends. I was tempted. I waffled back and forth. I looked for a good reason, anything at all, to truly justify poor choices rather than healthy ones. But the health nut in me won, and I was down .6 on the scale this morning!!
I also had a wicked headache this morning, which I haven't faced in a couple of weeks. Food additives, anyone?
So I opened my menu and saw several dishes that I've loved in the past. They were loaded with cheeses, cream, and white-white pasta. Mmmm.
I watched as people picked out what they were going to order. Many were obsessed with what everyone else was having. Could it be that I'm not the only one at this table who is fighting an internal war right now?
I'd read somewhere that I should order first, before I could toss around others' choices and let that influence mine. But that backfired, because one of the other ladies, who is usually very restrictive in what she eats, ordered a bowl of Alfredo sauce as an appetizer to go with her bread sticks before we even got to dinner orders. If she's throwing all caution to the wind, maybe I should too...
In the end, I opted for chicken breasts (not a usual part of my daily fare) with asparagus, tomatoes, and broccoli. I also asked for my salad with the dressing on the side, and pick off all of the croutons. And when it came time for one of the ladies to pass around slices of her homemade chocolate raspberry cheesecake, I accepted a very small one and enjoyed every last little morsel.
I left comfortable, not stuffed, and was hungry by bedtime. Which, reminded me of a couple of conversations that went around the table during dinner:
Somehow we ended up discussing our stretch marks, and other lovely aspects of mothering (we were there for a baby shower). I am not alone in the road map all over my abdomen, apparently.
Then one of the ladies mentioned how she tries to go to bed hungry every night because Oprah said that if we go to bed hungry, our bodies eat our butt's fat cells while we sleep. This was said by one of the thinner ladies in the group. Hmmm, maybe she's thin for a reason??
This struck me because so many of us food-a-holics like to think that we're heavy because of our genes, or bad luck, or a misalignment of the stars. What I'm finding over and over again, is that thin people work at it. Even my ridiculously skinny husband intentionally limits himself on a daily basis.
Above all, I'm patting myself on the back for realizing (FINALLY!) that eating out does not mean that I should gorge myself. And that no food is so special, or "free", or so limited in availability that I must eat it "now or never". So here I head, into my third week of 95% clean eating, and I'm feeling very, very good about it.