Monday, May 10, 2010

Tug O Bra

What's the rule about swim suits? If you can't get into it well while it's dry, don't even think about trying while it's wet, right? Well, this rule also apparently applies to sports bras.

Being the dedicated exerciser that I've been lately, I set my alarm early, so I could sweat a little before church. Feeling smug about my discipline, I got up, got some water, and hunted for a more snug sports bra since the one I've been wearing lately doesn't really do the trick when I'm bouncing up and down in Step class.

When I pulled it over my head (this bra has no hooks) the stretching caused it to crackle a bit. Perhaps the elastic is a little past its prime, since the little sucker was worn last when I played soccer in high school....a mere 16 years ago (and 65 pounds too, but who's counting?). Now that I think about it, the bra is a real classic; almost antique.

My chest looked bound. I could almost have passed for a man, I was so squished, and fat was pouring out along every edge of the fabric. I didn't have cleavage; I had a new butt, only in front, and a bit high. But alas, it was ON! And off I went, to jog 2 miles, all before church. I was patting myself on my bumpy back.

I survived both miles, sneering a little at my slower-than-high-school pace, and then rushed to get ready for church. I removed my shirt, socks, and pants, then went for the bra. I succeeded only in getting the bra above the "nurchies" (my youngest called them that back when she still nursed) but that is where it stayed. I tried, and tugged at the sweaty thing, but it was determined to remain in place. I can't begin to tell you how absurd I looked with an elastic band wrapped around my chest above, what gravity and childbirth has lowered substantially the last several years.

I had no one else to go to for help other than my poor husband. So, I bobbed down our stairs, manually keeping the goods in place, and asked for his assistance. It took him a few good tugs to free me, but it worked . And the bra is now retired. Know any 12 year-olds who need some extra support?


  1. Haha! I know what you're talking about! It's a tricky situation, those sports bras...I've ended up wearing two bras...one regular one (no wires) and a sports bra with hooks, since it's not as snug a fit as the hookless kind. My 2 bra system works...not sexy, but nothing's moving either! :)

  2. That's a great idea! A friend of mine wore two to Zumba last night, and I'd never heard of it before...but with you too, it may be just what I need. Thanks for the tip :)

  3. Haha, I love it! I have worn two before but I prefer a high impact one hold the girls in place :)

  4. Oh. my. gosh. That has definitely happened to me.

    Not trying to get personal here, but if you're well endowed, I can't recommend the Enell sports bra enough. I run and it supports me (otherwise they HURT when I work out) AND since it does have hooks, I don't have to worry about getting stuck in it. Yikes. :)

    P.S. Thanks for the visit and comment on my blog! :)